Yo, Momma!

7 Things My Mother Told Me That Were Bullshit:

-You're going to poke an eye out.
-Eating broccoli makes you pretty.
-Boys don't marry the cow if they get the milk for free.
-Your hair is actually quite pretty, dear.
-It will only hurt a little.
-Good things come to those who wait.
-You are a very brave girl.

7 Things My Mother Told Me That I Thought Were Bullshit but were Actually True:

-You have a very good brain, so use it.
-Apply sunscreen.


-Take a sweater, just in case.
-Everything in moderation.


-Boys don't give roses to girls who pick noses.


-That peckerwood with the long hair you're dating is all wrong for you.
-No matter how big you get, you still need your Mama.



Happy Birthday, Mom. Thanks for being my anchor in this scary, turbulent sea.