Then: The day before Valentine's day, get self a bikini wax, new flirty undies, ingredients for a romantic dessert.
Now: The day before Valentine's day, clean up blood and gore from a scooter accident, wipe snot off shirt, run to grocery store for gauze and medical tape.
Then: The night before Valentine's day, order Thai food, take a warm bubble bath, paint toes, drink a glass of wine, cuddle with spouse.
Now: The night before Valentine's day, eat pizza on the couch, watch Apollo Ohno kill it on the ice, juggle the two warm bodies on lap so there's room for the cat.
Then: Valentine's Day morning. Surprise! Breakfast in Bed! (Meal: champagne, orange juice, naked man.)
Now: Valentine's Day morning. "Surprise!" Breakfast in Bed. Which is zero surprise because the 4-year old spilled the whole lot of goods yesterday, enraging the 8-year old. (Meal: orange juice, fruit, huge slab of butter...oh wait, toast.) Attempt to eat while two excitable children frolic/fight on the bed. Strip sheets from bed. Start washer. Wander into kitchen. Clean up huge mess.
Then: Valentine's Day gift: box of Godiva chocolates, savored slowly over a week, all to yourself. Thoughtful, mushy card.
Now: Valentine's Day gift: box of truffles from Target, devoured greedily in three hours, not one piece of it yours. This card.
Then: Valentine's Night: dinner at a little chic restaurant, champagne, epic nookie, fall asleep in spouse's arms...cozy, content, grateful.
Now: Valentine's Night: frozen potstickers, champagne, TiVo'd Olympic coverage, garbage out, clean hamster cage, break up fisticuffs downstairs before blood is drawn. Lurch into bed two hours ahead of spouse...haggard, frazzled, grumpy.
Hey, at least the champagne was a consistent element, right? And thank goodness the sloppy kisses and hand-crafted Valentines make it all worthwhile...right? Children:2. Valentine's Day:0.
Hope you all were spoiled this weekend! And if you've got a horror story for me, I'd love to hear it...because I'm sick that way.
Hey, if you get a chance, pop on over to Wendi's site, Bon Appetit Hon and visit me today!
Absolutely LOVE your then and now stories! I can relate, too, even though kids are gone and marriage is over. :D
ReplyDeleteGoing on to visit you....
for us a day of keeping the kids apart... then keeping them away from mom (before she snapped). We did well with the chocolate though!
ReplyDeleteWow! I should have had fewer children. I don't remember the THEN. LMAO!
ReplyDeleteSo that's what happens when you have kids?
ReplyDeleteLove the honesty and the reality check!! fortunately, I'm still in quiet-Valentine's mode. Good to know what I'm in for someday!
ReplyDeleteI love the way you wrote this! Your night sounded a lot like ours tivod Olympic coverage and all! I don't know if the card was from hubs or you, but it is brilliant. Love it.
ReplyDeleteI was sick all weekend plus my child puked all over me for the first time.
ReplyDeleteHilarious. Truly. I kind of like the now (which is like mine) better. Is that weird? I have always disliked this holiday!
ReplyDeleteThe mountain man and I began our relationship with a kid in the middle of the bed, so I can't quite relate to your "then" stories, but they sound fantastic!
ReplyDeleteI got a call at 12:40 AM from working husband saying "Happy Valentines Day" and that was it.
ReplyDeleteDon't be jealous.
The thing to realise is the 'then' was all in preparation for the 'now' - procreation baby! What were you getting yourself into?! :) Nah just kidding... xxx
ReplyDeleteHahaha - this is great. Our night consisted of going to a dinner with friends, that ended in my three year old having an uncharacteristic accident in her tights - home early - and watching Charade (while husband played with kids new heart-shaped etch-a-sketch.) Ah, romance.
ReplyDeleteLove it! (You never fail to disappoint, my friend. What a pleasure you are.)
ReplyDeleteYou had me spraying the computer screen with coffee this morning. (I need to remember to keep the Glass Plus handy) This post is too funny. A classic. I'm going to request it next year!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the great laugh this morning. I love these then-and-now reflections. Husband was away all weekend so the highlight for me was devouring the entire box of cookies his mom sent us. Ha! Teach him to leave town the day a box of treats arrives!
ReplyDeleteThis is so funny! I have different memories.
ReplyDeleteThen: I was pregnant so puking everything the husband tried to feed me.
Now: Made delicious fettucine and shared it with friends.
I think I would take this Valentine's Day over my last 2 Valentine's Days!!
I had one kid running a 103+ temp and the other one trying to kill himself by climbing on the kitchen cabinets to get to the Windex. It is a really pretty blue color. But he did also give me lots of hugs and sloppy kiss yesterday and the sick one did beg for me. And the best part was that I was at Walmart buying essentials (new coloring books) when she puked and her Daddy had to clean it up. That's like the best Valentines present ever.
ReplyDeleteBest. Card. Ever.
ReplyDeleteI made my hubby a bacon bouquet. Champagne tastes funny when your whole house smells like bacon.
LOL too cute I can so relate. We really took it for granted the peace and quiet we had before kids.
ReplyDeleteI love that card! I think the Valentine's experience of Now is just as good as Then.
ReplyDeleteSo... so true...
ReplyDeleteThis year, the only valentine I got was from my mother in law. How sad is that? I almost sat the kids down and told them to make a valentine for mommy, since Daddy didn't think to do that, but it just didn't feel right ;)
My how times change!
I think I'm going to give up on kids and just get another dog... ;)
ReplyDeleteThis is great. I often think this way--before and after kids--comical!
ReplyDeleteSo true!!! Someday we'll look back and be thankful for the "now" Vdays!!
ReplyDeleteAs long as champagne is involved, I'd still call this a win. :-)
ReplyDeleteThis was such an awesome post! I especially dig the old couple picture.
ReplyDeletehilarious, but then, i'd expect nothing less from you regarding this poor excuse for a holiday. :)
ReplyDeleteWell damn at least the booze is a constant. Ya know I was feeling a bit depressed yesterday because I wanted some romantic day for me to have been planned. Does being together for 15 years and 2 kids later mean no more romantic V-day's? I suppose so and it sucks. I too got the Target chocolates and I too didnt get to eat any. And I got a Twilight Valentines card with Edward Cullen on the front...at least that made me smile!!!! lol
ReplyDeleteVery clevrly done. My romantic valentine's days are so far in the past that I'm not sure they ever really happened. But I live in hope...
ReplyDeleteTimes change after kids, don't they?!
ReplyDeleteOh, admit it. The NOW card is much more you.
ReplyDeleteApolo Ohno did kill it, didn't he? We watched the couples skating, realized neither of us had showered, said screw Valentine's Day (figuratively), and went to sleep. No scooter accidents to deal with, though, so I think you win!
ReplyDelete"Epic Nookie?!!" I'll have to tell Husband that. Oh, wait, I can't. He's asleep on the couch. Leaving me to make lunches and wash all the dishes. Right.
ReplyDeleteTHEN: Losing self in a blur of romance and food and sex.
ReplyDeleteNOW: Wait? Was Sunday Valentine's Day? REALLY? Sh*t...
Love you, TKW. Awesome post!
So glad to have followed you over here from Boy Crazy's blog.
ReplyDeleteI am going to have to take some time and discover the secrets of a mother who can cook and write while raising three children!!
I just noticed that you also live in the Rocky Mountains. Oh..we do need to swap stories.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the laughs! I only have one boy, 3 yrs old, but maybe it doesn't matter how many kids we have because I can relate!
ReplyDeleteGreat blog you have here. Glad I finally had a chacne to click over from seeing you on Nicki's and Kristen's blogs.
I just asked somebody "when did Valentine's Day become all about the kids?" Seriously!
ReplyDeleteOur V Day? Hubs took the kids ice skating while I watched and shivered, then we ate pizza, managed to finally put the kids to bed, then self-medicated with Jack Daniels and pairs figure skating.
Consistency counts here for SURE. Rock that champagne, TKW.
ReplyDeleteYes, how things change, and we're right there with you!
ReplyDeleteck,
ReplyDeleteThe only reason that post was funny is because you did a Then and Now post a while back and I thought it was such a great idea! YOU are the one with the funny ideas!
Belinda and Is Dis--welcome and thanks for stopping by!
Readers: hubs wants to inform you that we had a romantic Valentine's Day lunch today. And I will also tell you that he was duly rewarded :) Thanks for weighing in and letting me know that I'm not alone in the lame!
LOL. So true! My husb put away the Christmas tree without me asking. That's probably one of the best V-day surprises I've got! :-)
ReplyDeleteYou know what I got for Valentine's Day? Pink eye.
ReplyDeleteWell, at least it's the right color...
How did I miss this post? Oh, how great it is! Can I just slap "but then I had kids" onto it somewhere and claim it as my own?
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I were playing parents on Valentine's day this year... watching a 16 month old and a 3 year old. Nothing like trial by fire! We babysat from Thurs-Sun, so when their parents got home on Valentines day night, hubs and I had burgers and beer at a brewpub, then went home & straight to bed! Now I know what to look forward to when we have kids... yikes!
ReplyDelete