Sunday, May 16, 2010

Five for Ten: Lust

I must say, I was a little disgruntled with Jen and Sarah when I saw the 4th topic for Five for Ten Again. Lust.



I have been married for nearly ten years! I have two kids! And a stepkid. And Harryboy and Twinkle the Gay Russian Dwarf Hamster. I have to schedule sex with my husband.

Sorry, honey, you probably don't appreciate me sharing that, but honesty is kind of key here.

If your life is so busy that you have to schedule sex with your husband (and yes, oddly enough, it does work for us) how do you conjure Lust?

I don't mean desire. That I can do. Actually, when I know that nookie is on the books, I think about Captain Sexypants often during the day, play music that gets me a little frisky, take time to groom the hedges and hey! If you nurture desire, it will come.

But Lust? Lust is made of more ferocious stuff. Lust, to me, is reckless, sudden, maybe insecure and jealous. Lust can turn on you--when you crave something you can't have, does it take you to a tenuous place?

Lust is hard for me, because honestly? I'm so spoiled that I actually have everything I really want. I do.

I was griping to my friend Kristen at Motherese the other day about my writer's block concerning Lust. "I know," she said. "We're in the small-kid stage of life--lust is hard."

And then she came up with a brilliant idea that she was kind enough to let me steal. A few weeks ago Liz at But Then I Had Kids tagged us with The Plastic Joy award.

You can get the details here, but here's the down and dirty explanation. If tagged, you need to list (and then explain your reasoning) 5 characters you'd like to do the horizontal whiplash with.

Notice I said characters, not celebrities or people. Celebrities are boring. But characters? In books, movies, t.v. shows, comics? Oh, those are good fun!

When Kristen and I were tagged, we were excited, because how much fun is that? And then, of course, we got distracted and didn't get around to it. But we meant to. And now! Poof! Lust falls into our laps!

So, without further ado, I present to you TKW's Lusty Wish List of Yummy Characters She'd Like to Do the Sexy-Time With:

(in no particular order)

~Roger Sterling (Mad Men): I love Roger's snark-sharp wit and easy charm. Nobody throws a wry, well-timed quip like Roger. Sure, he's a cheat and a rascal, but I'm just shagging the dude, not marrying him. Plus, a date with Roger always involves cocktails. You always have me at cocktails.

Favorite Quip:
Roger: (talking to Joan, his mistress) Are we actually gonna get in a fight over a movie? You know, Mona had a dream once where I hit the dog with a car. She was mad at me all day--and I never hit the dog. We don't even have a dog.

~James Bond: Now before you beat me up for this one, I have to say that I'm going to be picky about my James Bond. I'm only making room in my bed for one of them--and it's not the one with the gadgets or the gimmicky car or the cheesy lines or the misogynistic attitude. Nuh-uh. My bed belongs to the James Bond of Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace. That James Bond is an an-i-mal! A rough, tough, killing machine. That's the Bond I'm talkin' about. A man who would throttle, maim and kill any man who messed with me? Drool and swoon.

~Lloyd Dobler (Say Anything): Lloyd is the anti-James Bond. Sensitive, sweet, a little awkward. But what I love about Lloyd is his resilience and his plucky attitude. Lloyd Dobler thinks he can do anything, and so...he does! He just goes for it. And when good things happen to him, he doesn't question it. He also worries about my feet if there's glass on the ground, which is adorable.

Favorite quote: The rain on my car is a baptism, the new me, Ice Man, Power Lloyd, my assault on the world begins now.

Runner up: She's gone. She gave me a pen. I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen.

~Patrick Jane (The Mentalist): Yeah, he's incredibly easy on the eyes. But what I love about Jane? The irrepresible mischief--that sparkle in his eye. You know this guy has something up his sleeve. He also lives to mess with his co-workers' heads, just for grins. This guy is a load of fun. Plus, he's so intuitive, so tuned-in to people's expressions and body's almost like sleeping with a chick. Which I can't say I've done, but hey, this is as close as I can comfortably get.

Favorite quote: Messy women make good lovers.

~Jake Ryan (Sixteen Candles): Gorgeous guy, hot car, heart of gold. What more is there to say?

Favorite quote: I want a serious girlfriend. Somebody I can love, that's gonna love me back. Is that psycho?

And now, I get to do the Honors! Girls, your number is up! I'm tagging:


Naptime Writing

Have fun, ladies! And bonus points if you can come up with a literary character! I felt like the worst former English teacher in the world because I thought and thought about it and came up with nothin'. I SUCK.

~Hey readers, I'd love it if you'd share a character that floats your boat in the comments! It's all in good fun, you know!


  1. I'm a big fan of THAT James Bond! Yummy!

  2. I read Kristen's post this morning and she made me feel so old. I was like what about Yuri Zhivgo in Dr. Zhivago or Rhett Butler in Gone with the Wind.

    And of course: Johnny Depp in anything. or nothing.

    Literary characters: that is difficult. I'm thinking.

  3. Sigh. There are several: Don Draper. Dr. Shepherd on Grey's Anatomy. Tony Stark. Esteban Reyes (from Weeds). I'm kind of a slut in my imagination, I guess! :)

  4. I am all for Rhett Butler in Gone With the Wind and Darcy in Pride and Prejudice. What a challenge to think of characters...

    Nice way to approach this post. I liked it.

  5. Jack Reacher from the Lee Child books, but you probably have no idea who I'm talking about (I only read trash).

  6. How fun!! I have a long list, LOL!! Started that list way before I even realized I was doing it :D

  7. I've been thinking about this all day since I read Kristen's post this morning. I agree with her about the Aragon. But later I realized, actually for me, it's all about the Hank Moody from Californication. Oh yes!!

  8. Oh my God, Jake Ryan!! I had the biggest crush on that character back in the day! He epitomized the hot high school guy. The one that has everything and can have anyone and if you were lucky, he just might pick you!!! Thanks for the waltz down memory lane!

  9. Awesome! Lloyd wins in my book!

  10. Literary characters to swoon over, Mr Darcy perhaps. While I mull on this tricky question I shall just daydream a little about Johnny Depp. Gorgeous and incredibly talented he just has it all.....swoon

  11. Patrick Jane = hotness...i'd do him!

  12. Justin Matisse from Hope Floats.

    I have to start watching Mentalist. now.

  13. You're right, TKW, our guys might be different, but their qualities are similar. One more I thought of since writing my post? Thomas Crown from the Thomas Crown Affair (the newer one with Pierce Brosnan).

    The new James Bond, by the way? Hot hotty hot!

  14. Oh Lloyd. Lloyd, Lloyd, Lloyd. He always does it for me. ALWAYS. And no matter how many horrible stories I hear about how awful John Cusack really is in real life, I still love him. Because he is Lloyd. Lloyd, Lloyd, Lloyd.

  15. C (Kid Things) you have heard bad things about the Cusack? I am devastated! It was a toss-up between his character in Say Anything and the one in High Fidelity. Bliss.

    You dumbasses who aren't watching the Mentalist? Do it. Simon Baker is charisma on legs. Dreamy--and I don't even like blondes.

    Christine--you FREAK! Sending love out to the naughty thing that is Duchovny. Gotta admit, I can't resist him, either.

    Kristen, my mom worships the Pierce. Can't say she's too off base, although I admire so much more about the man than the characters he plays. When that man commits to a woman, it's for everything, no matter what. WOW.

  16. I'm going to a different side than I used to select characters for Kristen's post.

    I'm choosing Jacob Black (in the books, not the movies), Michael Curry (from The Witching Hour), and Remus Lupin (Harry Potter series).


  17. I am going with Rachael Ray ;~)

    Ok I just said that to get-ya. Thanks for the fun!

  18. Oh, I loved this post. Your picks? So. Very. Awesome.

    But then I saw that I had to do it, too, and had a little GACK! (like the cartoon Cathy) moment.

    However Kitch: anything for you. Will get to work on that.

  19. I got tagged on this too, TKW, and what a great way to handle the Lust post!

    Literary? In All The King's Men by Robert Penn Warren, the narrator Jack Burden. I know this is weird but I had to read it for my master's and the brooding, loner Jack with his father problems - yes. That's right up my alley!

  20. Love this entry! What a wicked idea!!! But who do I choose?!!!! I'd like to go for a James Bond character...hmm...I want to go further than that...someone out of the you say...built to kill - a real warrior type man (just because you don't come across these types normally in everyday life)...I think it would have to be a Greek hero like Hektor the prince of Troy...he's sensitive and loves his family but he is strong and powerful and ready to give his life for his city... I'd imagine he's have wickedly powerful and massive arms...good for holding you and making you feel

  21. Easy :
    1. James Bond, but the original Sean Connery ( a young Sean Connery of course, no grandpa)
    2. Mr. Darcy.
    3. Luitenant Gibbs from NCIS
    4. Robin Hood (Russel Crowe, hmmmmmmmm)
    5. Harry Potter ( a bit inappropriate, since I am older, but hey who knows what I can teach him...)

  22. Wry, well-timed quips are the truest sign of a real man. Making dolls make out in the bath, however, is, um, something entirely different.

  23. Kitch, I swear that we are sharing a brain. It's like you reached inside my head for that list...minus Lloyd Dobler. I'd have to sideline him and put William Thacker (Hugh Grant) from Notting Hill in the game.

  24. Mr. Darcy (Colin Firth with wet shirt version).
    Robin Hood (Russel Crowe version).
    Mr. Schuster from Glee (I'm a geek at heart and he's very hot!)

  25. 1. Jason Bourne
    2. Danny Ocean
    3. Sawyer from Lost
    4. Charlie Young from The West Wing

    Totally fun take on lust.

  26. I would have to say Neo from the Matrix (when he's all action and no talk that is) and Heath Ledger's character in 10 Things I Hate About You. I can't believe that's the best I could come up with but I blame Monday Morning Blues for this.

    I do love your choice of Bond. He's a rugged machine that makes me swoon too.

  27. Love the way you and Kristen weaved that into your posts. Some of the topics have put me at a loss and I've just had to fly by the seat of my pants, but challenges are good.

  28. Okay, i'll get literary on you. I'm going with Fitzwilliam Darcy and Rhett Butler. But I must affirm your James Bond choice. Although Pierce Brosnan is a total cutie, Daniel Craig inspires much more lust.

  29. Yay, kitch! I love that you did it, and so clever of you and Kristen to have used it for this post. I can lie and say I totally did that on purpose and just set you guys up to make it easy,, not much of a liar. And Jake? That was one of the ones I considered, actually, for my original list!

  30. Say Anything is probably one of my favorite movies - nice pick! And I bought the VHS of Sixteen Candles for my daughter when she turned 16 - its one of her favorites!

    Although, still not a fan of Molly Ringwald!

  31. I told this to Kristin at Motherese as well, Wyatt Earp (Kurt Russell). Totally HOT! The duster gets me every time. Add to that the laid-back cool and the desire to kick some serious butt. To die for.

  32. Okay, the best quote from Say Anything was when the girl friend (not the one he plays Peter Gabriel for, the other one) says, "Don't be a guy. Be a man."

    I loved Will Hunting in Good Will Hunting ("You like apples? I got her numbah. How do you like them apples?")

    I used to love Tom Cruise before he went all scientolocrazy.

    Matt Modine in Vision Quest

    Dylan Bruno who plays FBI agent Colby Granger on Numb3rs.

    And, of course, Patriots QB Tom Brady. Even if he's a dog. He's still nice to look at.

  33. The "small kid stage of life"... I totally get that. Does make lust hard, doesn't it? All part of the ups and downs that come with having a rich life, though - I think. Appreciating each other is good....

    Love Lloyd Dobler, by the way (read" love John Cusack).....

  34. Oh man, this is too much excitement for a Monday morning.

    Russell Crowe in Gladiator.
    Matt Damon as Jason Bourne.
    Daniel Day-Lewis in Last of the Mohicans.
    James Franco in Pineapple Express. (I know, I know. It's not logical in any way.)

  35. You sneaky little devil. Even my husband doesn't know my Top 5. Maybe he won't read the day I post it. Should I wear something slinky (or anything else besides t-shirt and jeans) to distract him? LOVED your list. THAT James Bond? Totally hot! I'd "do him" in a heartbeat!

  36. OMG, Cheryl just reminded me how much I LOVED Matthew Modine in VisionQuest! Dude! And, Kitch, I'm totally with you on Bond (the Daniel Craig angsty version). I also had my time with Lloyd Dobbler and Jake Ryan, but those two fall into the category of nostalia lust for me. Others I might add: Adam Braverman (Parenthood TV show) and Mr. Rochester (Jane Eyre). And now you've got me thinking, so I'm sure I'll come up with more. I'm trying to remember all the sexy English teacher types in movies. I love the ones with the literary mind and the James Bond body/angst. *Swoon* Oh, wait, Spike! I'm adding Spike! Spike! Spike!

  37. If I told you who rocks my boat and my kids read this I would be in such trouble! Not going to chance it.
    But you'd be surprised.
    And did you think old people don't lust? You're wrong, we do.
    There's this tuna ad in Donna Hay I may have framed.....

  38. Oh Lloyd! I loved Lloyd. I love John Cusack movies. Just saying.

    And the dude from the Mentalist was my answer for Kristen, and I will repeat it here. YUMO.

  39. I soooo loved Jake in 16 candels. Who wouldnt lust after a man like that.

  40. You're tooo funny! I have small kids so I can totally relate

  41. I used Johnny Depp for Kristen's post - as in Roux (Chocolat), not Edward Scissorhands or the swaggeringly effeminate pirate. And I'm glad to have a second chance here because somehow I forgot about Aidan! Embarrassing but true: When I saw him in the preview for the new Sex and the City movie, I actually shrieked.

  42. So many of your guys are my guys, too, except I forgot them in my post. I can't believe I forgot John Cusack. Do you know how many times I have watched Say Anything? And Sixteen Candles? And I haven't admitted it to myself, but I also like Sterling on Mad Men. Draper creeps me out.

    Great list. We're very much on the same page.

  43. Clearly my kids are WAY too small because when you said characters I was thinking about Disney and Nickelodeon and how there just isn't that much sexy in the backyardigans and um Diego is WAY too young. Now I will start to think about grownups and would definitely start with Johnny Depp in absolutely any role.

    This made me laugh hard and while I am still trying to figure out what the heck I am going to write about for lust, I will now start to pencil in some lovin and hope for some of that good ol' unplanned rugged wonderful lust!

  44. Another post that has me laughing-where do you guys come up with this stuff? It's creative and fun.

  45. I love your take on lust! And I can't wait to read your tagged bloggers' lists. But I'm so sleep deprived that I lust after sleep.

  46. No time to read the other comments...Lloyd Dobbler is and has always been my dream mate. Vulnerable, sweet, dorky, sincere. Sigh. And as a co-parent?
    "I got a question. If you guys know so much about women, how come you're here at like the Gas 'n' Sip on a Saturday night completely alone drinking beers with no women anywhere?"

  47. Aw, Jake Ryan? With the birthday cake and the furrowed brow? Totally.

    Any Friday Night Lights fans out there? Coach Taylor, anyone? Scrumptious.

    There's a BBC series called Hustle that is quirky and brilliant and features a charismatic con artist named Danny Blue...I wouldn't kick him out of bed for eating crackers.

    And, like you, TKW, I'm a former English major ashamed of my inability to come up with a literary example. To be fair, however, these days the main male featured in my reading material is Dr. Sears, and I just don't like him like that...

  48. You little sneak, you!!! Looks like I have some fun, juicy work to do...and I'm not talking about squeezing fresh OJ!

    Off to muse...

  49. I call Mr. DARCY!!! There. Nobody takes him from me because I will cut a b**ch! (You can see how we are going to be perfect for each other by how classy I am, can't you? LOL. I mean I didn't spell out the B word...) I cannot write about my sex life b/c there is literally none to speak of. It's actually kind of tragic but I am determined to see it as funny. Sex with fictional characters however I can totally related. Thank you so much for pegging me: this is going to be fun!! :-)

  50. john cusack makes me swoon, and i love the patrick jane character. good picks! and i agree with a previous commenter--kyle chandler on friday night lights is deeeelicious!

  51. If I had to add to the list my first choice would be Dr. McSteamy from Grey's Anatomy closely followed Dr. McDreamy. Sorry to say I am a huge Grey's Anatomy fan.

  52. Oh, john cusack: the epitome of "the whole package."


  53. Nice choice of James Bond. Which leads me to Sean Connery as Marko Ramius in Hunt for Red October. Oh, and Indiana Jones.

  54. You totally got me with Lloyd Dobbler and this"

    "She's gone. She gave me a pen. I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen."

    I heart you. And yes, you managed to pull off the Lust post even though I made you squirm....