Wednesday, November 4, 2009

A New Drink for Sniffles Season: The Thoddy




You know that theory that nothing will survive a nuclear blast except for the cockroach?

Well, whoever came up with that theory never met my husband, because he will survive too. He has an immune system made of titanium, I swear. He never gets sick. In fact, I think they need to create a new SuperHero in the guise of my hubs--Never fear, mortals! ImmuneSystem Man is on his way!

This is good news in many ways: 1) One of my kids is always either outright sick or incubating the next sickness 2) I always catch whatever disease passes through the house at any given moment and 3) Someone has to run this sinking ship.

The bad news? On the extremely rare occasion that ImmuneSystem Man does get sick, he's a total pain in the ass.

It's not that he's a baby, exactly; it's just that the dude is so rarely ill that he walks around in a fog of disbelief and misery. If he could get away with sucking his thumb, he would.

The other day, hubs got sick. With a cold and respiratory bug--and I knew it was a doozy because he was sick for THREE whole days. This man is never down for over 24 hours. N-ever.

And as luck would have it, he was needed at work, so he slogged through several days of misery and came home looking like Dead Man Walking.

I tried faux pho, I tried tea with honey and lemon, I tried spicy green chile. Dude was still miserable.

Growing up, my grandfather always swore by the Hot Toddy...most good Irish drunks did.

Hubs needed sleep and relief, so I created my own version. He drank it down, said it tasted delicious, felt better within 5 minutes and then promptly konked out for 12 hours straight.

Pretty impressive, right? When he woke the next morning, he felt a little better and told me that I should publish the recipe for my concoction on my blog. "That thing is too good not to share," he said. "It's genius. You should market it," he said. He told me I should call it the "Thoddy"...

Which brings me to the one leeeeeetle problem about this whole deal.

The reason he called it the "Thoddy" is because I basically spiked his TheraFlu. Which doctors don't really recommend a person do. You know, that whole *risk of liver damage by mixing alcohol and acetaminophen* garbage.

But once in a while, when the chips are really down, we here at Chez T believe in totally Fucking With the Rules.

And this thing works like a dream. You will be blissed out within 10 minutes. Guaranteed.

Just make sure you have someone responsible around to watch your kiddos, because you are gonna be immobile for a while after one of these pups. And, like the Theraflu folks say: do not consume 3 or more alcoholic drinks a day while using this product...but you won't need 3 drinks. One of these suckers does the Job.

The Thoddy
serves one sad-sack husband

1 packet Nighttime Severe Cold & Cough Theraflu (Honey Lemon, Chamomile and White Tea flavor)
1 jigger spiced rum, such as Captain Morgan's
1 jigger pineapple orange juice
6 oz. water

Combine the water and pineapple juice in a microwaveable mug. Zap 1 minute or until hot. Stir in rum and Theraflu packet. Pour down gullet. Bliss Out.

**Warning and Disclaimer: the author of this blog is totally not a doctor and totally not responsible if you become addicted to this healing cup of goodness. Your liver is your responsibility.

33 comments:

  1. TKW, you are my hero. An evil genius, but still my hero hon.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Other than a big *ew* because Therflu makes me vomit, I have to laugh. I haven't thought of pineapple orange juice since I was last really sick, REALLY sick, in NM in the late 80s. What memories. That stuff spells wellness to me. So I'll try pineapple orange and double the rum. That oughta do it. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Only part way through reading (and laughing) but you must watch this:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbmbMSrsZVQ

    ReplyDelete
  4. OMG is this a gem! You are brilliant!

    ReplyDelete
  5. What's that sound??? I think I hear police sirens coming down your street right now! Quick! Hide!

    Don't worry, I've got bail money! :D

    ReplyDelete
  6. This whole post had me cracking up. What a great way to knock out the hubs and ensure relief for all in the morning =).

    ReplyDelete
  7. I could have used this a few days ago! My mom used to dose my dad with Hot Toddy's when he got sick, but I hadn't thought of them until reading this.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Wait. What? You're not a doctor? Dammit! Then I should probably stop doing everything you say like it was prescribed by a medical professional! Kidding! I totally know you're a doctor, that's why I think I'll try this concoction next time I come down with some gnarly ass kid transmitted bug. Oh, speaking of kids, do you think this would work on them too?!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Can I serve it to my HUBS when I want him out of my hair for a bit?

    ReplyDelete
  10. That sounds perfect, not only does it work, it tastes good too. I'll have to try it on my (baby) hubz next time he's sick.

    Jen - good idea!

    ReplyDelete
  11. This is evil, wicked fun. I'm home, sick. I'm groggy from a Nyquil hangover. The Thoddy would have been a lot better. Yes, men are total babies when they are sick. Now I see what women were picked to gestate and deliver their offspring. We can take it. They can't.

    ReplyDelete
  12. LMFAO!! I'm totally in...although I hope it doesn't come to this again this season...or anytime soon. Maybe I'll just minus the TheraFlu and see if it cures my other ails.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I think this must be tried...maybe just for the hell of it.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Brilliant! Why, oh why, did you have to post this only a week or so after we've gotten over the flu!! I'll have to keep it on hand for the next time.

    ReplyDelete
  15. And THIS is why I read your blog!!!! Genius.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I'm printing this for when Ben gets sick.

    I want to know why men can whine while ladies have to watch kids, cook and work while sick!

    ReplyDelete
  17. I've never tried Thera-Flu before, but I am known to use my own combo: aglio e olio and red wine. It warded off a nasty cold after being caught in the rain with no umbrella...

    ReplyDelete
  18. My hubs is also a pain in the ass when he gets sick. If we both get sick, he's ALWAYS sicker than me (or so he thinks). Maybe he is, who knows.

    But he loves TheraFlu, so I can't WAIT to try this out on him. I've always hated TheraFlu, but I think I might stomach--or even love--your version!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Now, if there were only a version for the progeny ...Benadryl ice pops? Motrin pudding?

    ReplyDelete
  20. One of the funniest posts I've read in ages. And so true. Nothing is worse than a sick man. I swear.
    Copy/printing this minute.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Oh my gosh I was cracking up when you explained your leeeeetle problem! You are a genius! But do I have to wait until hubby is sick to serve him this?

    ReplyDelete
  22. I wonder if this would be better for me than ambien??? I never got sick until I had Emma. She would catch a cold from someone at school, it would knock her out for half a day...and then it would knock us out for a week apiece.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Evenshine,you are brilliant! Benadryl Ice pops? Sign me up, honey!

    And I don't think we'd go DIRECTLY to Hell if we dosed our husbands for simply being "on our last nerve"...right?

    ReplyDelete
  24. And I'm scrolling down these comments, laughing my butt off! You guys give good comment, and I love you for that!

    Let's send out a universal howl that men are "USELESS!!!" when sick, and dammit, how come Mommy never gets to be sick, ever?

    ReplyDelete
  25. "You guys give good comment."

    I'm doing my Beavis and Butthead laugh right now.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Oh My Goodness! This is brilliant but I'm a coward when it comes to mixing alchol and medicine. Hope he feels better soon.

    ReplyDelete
  27. ha ha! dangerous but if it works...it works...and if your hubby only get ill so rarely what's the odd one or two in a lifetime going to do really in terms of damage?! I like the attitude! :) Hope the hubby feels better now and all recovered? xxx

    ReplyDelete
  28. I am going to tuck this away for my baby of a hubby when he is sick...

    ReplyDelete
  29. I'm actually looking forward to getting sick so I can have one of these.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Looks like you're the superhero in this scenario. Your nickname could be something like Ballsy- willing to ignore warning labels for the well being of her family.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Devon: Spike-The-Beverage-Woman???

    ReplyDelete