We interrupt Bean Week From Hell for the following distraction from The Management:
Sometimes, things cannot be avoided.
Sometimes, a bitter girl-woman is dragged to a lame-ass party because she's broken too many promises already, and it's Payback Time.
Sometimes, a lame party is even lamer than the snarkiest of girls can tolerate.
Sometimes, it's a good idea to hide out in a stranger's kitchen. Because there's a guy leaning against a wall, smirk on his face, giving very witty and barbed snark to a girl who's as cuddly as a pit viper. A girl that Bitter Girl happens to loathe.
Sometimes, girls who never, ever, throw themselves at men break their own rules.
Sometimes, snark + snark = something strangely gentle.
Sometimes, it takes a few short hours to both begin and end a story.
But Sometimes it takes longer. Sometimes, a very young, very scared girl in India endures a long, bloody and complicated birth. A birth unattended by her husband, who left months ago, trying to forge a fresh start in a new country, with one semester's tuition in his pocket.
Sometimes, when you have to do impossible things, you can. And you are rewarded with the greatest gift. A gift who, 30 years later, becomes the greatest gift to another woman.
Sometimes, we don't express gratitude the way we should. So. Thanks, Mom and Dad #2, for your sacrifice and your wonderful, witty, wacky boy.
He is the moon, and the stars, and the earth beneath our feet.
Happy Birthday, my Prince Charming of Snark. Always and forever.
You totally trump Bean Week, darling.
PS: It must be birthday week for some awesome men out there--my favorite this week is here: