Friday, October 16, 2009


We interrupt Bean Week From Hell for the following distraction from The Management:

Sometimes, things cannot be avoided.

Sometimes, a bitter girl-woman is dragged to a lame-ass party because she's broken too many promises already, and it's Payback Time.

Sometimes, a lame party is even lamer than the snarkiest of girls can tolerate.

Sometimes, it's a good idea to hide out in a stranger's kitchen. Because there's a guy leaning against a wall, smirk on his face, giving very witty and barbed snark to a girl who's as cuddly as a pit viper. A girl that Bitter Girl happens to loathe.

Sometimes, girls who never, ever, throw themselves at men break their own rules.

Sometimes, snark + snark = something strangely gentle.

Sometimes, it takes a few short hours to both begin and end a story.

But Sometimes it takes longer. Sometimes, a very young, very scared girl in India endures a long, bloody and complicated birth. A birth unattended by her husband, who left months ago, trying to forge a fresh start in a new country, with one semester's tuition in his pocket.

Sometimes, when you have to do impossible things, you can. And you are rewarded with the greatest gift. A gift who, 30 years later, becomes the greatest gift to another woman.

Sometimes, we don't express gratitude the way we should. So. Thanks, Mom and Dad #2, for your sacrifice and your wonderful, witty, wacky boy.

He is the moon, and the stars, and the earth beneath our feet.

Happy Birthday, my Prince Charming of Snark. Always and forever.

You totally trump Bean Week, darling.

PS: It must be birthday week for some awesome men out there--my favorite this week is here:


  1. Dana, you continue to keep me entertained with each and every one of your blog entries. I'm so glad we reconnected after all these years. :)

  2. Happy Birthday Mr Kitchen Witch!!!!! You guys look so cute! XXX

  3. Um, Mr. KitchWitch - to tolerate BEAN week during your birthday- wow. I think you've just achieved saint status. Happy Birthday!

  4. Happy Birthday Mr. TKW!! Hope you guys take a break from the beans and get something yummy to celebrate! Enjoy your weekend.

  5. so nice...You guys rock with birthday tributes. My hubs was last saturday and I think I whispered Happy Birthday on Friday night at 11:45pm before falling into a blissfully exhausted sleep. Bad wife.

  6. Happy Birthday to the Mr., he's born in a good month! (My birthday month!)

  7. beautiful, just beautiful.

    public service announcement: with all those bean gases festering, it's probably not a good idea to light any candles in the house. butt on the other cheek, MrKitch's birthday would officially be a blast!

    Get down with your bad self MrKitch!

  8. What an awesome birthday present.

  9. Fab post. Happy Birthday, Mr. TKW. Thanks for making our beloved girl so happy. :)

    Btw, LOVE the pic of you both.

  10. oh how sweet I am married to an Indian as well !

  11. The picture of you two is so cute! And beautiful. What a sweet post. Hope you are both enjoying a break from bean week.

    (P.S. I bought beans yesterday to make your bean cakes! But last night I made--for the first time--sage turkey burgers. You would have been proud. Although I'm sure you also could have told me how to make them better. :)

    Happy B-day Mr. KW!

  12. You are so sweet! I love the stories and photos! Tell your hubby happy birthday! Your whole family is beautiful and I just love hearing about them! You Rock!

  13. Curse you woman. Why must you always make me cry. I was ready for a laugh. Happy Birthday to your man :D

  14. Couldn't figure out how to make a birthday cake outta beans huh? Happy Birthday to your Hubby :D

  15. A snarky man who can trump bean week AND make one of my very favorite bloggers this happy?


    Happy Birthday!

  16. Thanks, everyone! You are all so nice, and yes, we did bypass beans on the Man's birthday :) I still can't believe the poor guy had to do Cabbage Rolls for Anniversary and Bean Week for Birthday....

    I am testing him sorely, for sure.

    jc: thanks for the tip about the candles...otherwise, I'd have looked like MJ in that ill-fated Pepsi commercial....