Aqua Fresca: Your New Favorite Summer Drink

The day before Lore's 20th birthday, I wanted to surprise her with a little taste of home. I'd heard of Aqua Fresca before but I'd never tried it. Aqua Fresca is Mexico's answer to lemonade, except instead of lemons they use some sort of cooling, refreshing fruit like watermelon or cantaloupe.



I found a couple of recipes on the Food Network website . After reading through them (and the reader reviews) I adapted this recipe from Michael Chiarello.

Aqua Fresca
adapted from Michael Chiarello's recipe
serves 4

3 cups watermelon, peeled, seeded and diced

1 1/2 cups water

1 to 4 tablespoons sugar, depending on how sweet your melon is

2 limes, juiced

mint, optional

Puree the watermelon in a food processor or blender. Place a fine sieve over an empty pitcher and pour the watermelon mixture through the sieve. Discard pulp left over in sieve (you will just have clear red-pink liquid left over) It looks like this.

Add the remaining ingredients (start with 1 tablespoon sugar) to the watermelon liquid and stir. Taste for sugar, adding more if necessary. Chill until very cold. Re-stir the mixture and serve over lots of cracked ice, with a garnish of lime and mint, if desired.

This is one stunner of a drink. And boy, is it good. I must admit, the first thing I thought when I tasted it was: ooooh, gotta try this with vodka in it! Taste test on the adult version pending.

I also thought that the color of the strained watermelon juice was so gorgeous (and so potent smelling) that you could probably combine a few tablespoons of it with Prosecco to make a Watermelon Bellini.

Any way you decide to try it, I encourage you. Our whole family loved it (Daphne gave it a 10!) and on a hot day, it will hit the spot. And as we were finishing, Lore said the magic words: This also is really good frozen like a popsicle. As soon as our new popsicle molds arrive, expect a review.



Happy almost birthday, Lore!

If I Ran the Food Network: a riff

I admit it. I watch The Food Network a lot. More than I should. Example: a few months ago, I woke during the night to the sound of a strange, manly-type voice. My husband was sleeping solidly next to me, so I was a little alarmed. And then I heard giggling. Little girl giggling. And then I heard a teeny voice exclaim, "Bam!"

Miss M. had awakened, tottered down to the living room, turned on the t.v. and was enjoying her some Emeril. My obsession with the FN is rubbing off on the girls.

My girls love the Food Network, particularly Ace of Cakes. And can I just say right now that I have a strange crush on Duff? He floats my boat, he does. I can't explain it. I watch him massage a massive lump of fondant and I get a little sweaty.

But some of the other celebrities on the Food Network annoy me a little. Some of them (cough, cough, rhymes with Hachael Hay) annoy me a lot. Alas, Food Network has failed to contact me regarding my opinions of its stars, so I just have to dream about what I'd say.

Paula Deen: I do think you got spunk, honey, but Jesus you cook some nasty stuff! Deep fried macaroni and cheese? Seafood casserole with mayonnaise, soup and cheese? (white trash! Yeah!) I have never made a recipe from your show, admittedly. If I cooked like you do, I'd grow the Ass the Size of India.

Bobby Flay: How did you manage to nail that bangin' babe of a wife? I mean, I like your food and you seem like an okay guy and all, but you bear strong resemblance to Howdy Doody. Just sayin'.

Sandra Lee: You are fired.

Ina Garten: Will you marry me? How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. And if you won't marry me, can I have Jeffrey? And that house in the Hamptons, as long as I'm askin'.

Giada de Laurentis: Yes, as a matter of fact, I have noticed that perky, ginormous rack of yours. No need to parade it around any more. Leave a little mystery there, wouldja?

Guy Fieri: Sure, you have a zippy personality. But really, have some self respect. Must you give your dishes names like Good Karma Shawarma and Rice a Monee? It makes my sphincter contract.

Robin Miller: Get thee over to Paula Deen's house and eat some of her food. You need home cookin' like nobody's business. When you walk, do your bones clank together?

Tyler Florence: Didn't you used to be kinda good looking? What happened?

Emeril Lagasse: Bam! That's the sound of my arteries exploding after eating your food. Go hang out with Paula, you'll like each other.

And I of course have the choicest of words for Rachael Ray but I'm trying to curb my colorful tongue, and if I said what I'd like to, I'd owe the Dirty Word Jar in the kitchen a month's worth of grocery money.

But you know it'd be true.

If you care to disagree with me or agree with me or add choice tidbits of your own, feel free. I know I've missed someone (or two) and I love to hear you talk.

She's Just Not That Into You: a rant

Dear chefs, Food Network stars, cooking magazine editors, etc.:

If I see one more recipe this year using fennel , I am going to blow the bejeezus out of my skull. I am over fennel, get it? Quit trying to shove fennel down my throat; it's making me cranky. I don't even like fennel, and I suspect the only people who do are those freaks who hoard the black jelly beans at Easter.

Fennel is hairy, awkward looking and a bitch to pair with wine. It tastes like anise, for chrissakes. Even if you cook the shit out of it, you can taste that icky anise. I sure as heck wouldn't pour ouzo over my risotto, so why are you asking me to cook the vegetable equivalent into it?

Even Ina Garten, who admits she doesn't like fennel, is cooking with it. What kind of strange brainwashing is going on here? Even heroin dealers don't push their product that hard.

So I beg of you please. Cease and desist with the fennel. It's getting old.

And while I have your attention, I'd just like to add some other food trend thingys that I'm over:

~Butternut Squash: You were interesting maybe 5 years ago. If I have to endure another Autumn of butternut squash soup recipes, I'm going to drink hemlock. Ditto that for the roasted butternut squash side dishes. Even if you gussy it up with orange or maple syrup or curry powder, butternut squash is a yawner.

~Parsnips: Yeah, what I said to the squash. At the end of the day, you are just an albino carrot, so quit trying so hard.

~Dried Cranberries, Apricots and Cherries: Get out of my savory food, you chewy cretins! Get out of my couscous, my pilaf, my pasta salad. No, you don't add interest to the dish. You just get stuck in my teeth.

~Fava Beans and Ramps: Understand this--Spring belongs to Asparagus. It just does. Always has. You were never contenders, so get out of every Spring recipe in every food magazine that I read.

~Polenta: You suck.

~Pomegranate: I get it, you are healthy. But I am still not sprinkling your sour, strangely crunchy self over my salad.

~Truffle butter: Maybe if I'm eating pasta at Harry's Bar; otherwise, bugger off. And don't even think about showing up on a burger or in mac and cheese. Gag.

~Oatmeal: Unbeknownst to you, I broke up with you this morning. Even jazzed up with brown sugar and half and half and pecans, you don't cut it. I've tried for years with you, but you just can't seem to change, so it's over. You're gruel darling, I'm sorry.

I should feel relieved after this rant, but I'm not. Because I'm sensing that there's another really annoying food trend lurking around the corner. Waiting for me.

If you are peevish and need to rant at seemingly innocent foodstuffs, feel free to do so below.