Wednesday, March 3, 2010

You're Screwed: A Veggie Tale




Things were getting just a leeeetle dicey in the refrigerator. See, I'd just come off a 3-day jaunt to Las Vegas. So I'd already sort of cleaned us out in the fresh produce department. Monday dawned, and I had to deal with a 17 year-old and a tailbone which may or may not've been broken. With a potty-hating 4 year-old in tow. Note: Awesome Stepkid R. is no Shawn White.

We lucked out in the coccyx department. Alas, the grocery store didn't happen. Tuesday, I had a sitter scheduled for a few hours, so I diligently began making out my list over my morning coffee. And then I heard it. The Ultimate Morning Buzzkill. Bleeeeaaaarrrrggg. Bleeeeaaaarrrrgg. Mommy! Hurry!

The Potty Pariah had the barfs.

I cancelled my babysitter and my grocery plans. Hubs was on call, so an evening trip to the grocery store when he got home from work wasn't happening. I looked in the refrigerator. A few leaves of lettuce. Some barely okay grapes. A shriveled, sad lime. A few cherry tomatoes. Half a red onion. A fistful of cilantro. Not good. I was off the hook for dinner, though, because when hubs is on call, it's panini night at Chez T. Whew.

Guess who still didn't feel good on Wednesday? Guess who was fouler than foul in temperament? No way was I taking a pissed-off Potty Pariah to the grocery store.

I was officially screwed.

I should have just planned on phoning my local Chinese joint come 6 o'clock, but Miss Cheapskate couldn't do that. Because she had fish thawing in the refrigerator that needed to be used ASAP.

So, I opened the freezer and the pantry and found: corn and black beans. Corn tortillas. Bing! The light went on.

The fish got a quick dusting with a Southwestern seasoning mix and I got to working on this side dish. Not bad for a desperate housewife. Not bad at all.



You're Screwed Southwestern Salad
serves 4

1/2 of a package (16-oz.) frozen corn, thawed
1 can black beans, rinsed and drained
1/4 cup red onion, finely chopped
1 jalapeno chile, seeded and chopped
1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro
generous handful of cherry tomatoes, halved or diced
juice of one small lime
1 tablespoon olive oil
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
1 teaspoon chili powder
dash cayenne
crumbled cojita (or goat cheese) and tortilla chips, to serve

Mix the corn, black beans, onion, jalapeno, cilantro and tomatoes in a large bowl. In a small bowl, combine the lime juice, olive oil, salt, pepper and spices. Whisk together; pour over corn mixture. Toss well. Taste for salt and adjust seasonings to your taste.

Sprinkle with cojita cheese. Serve with tortilla chips. Pray for recovery tomorrow. Set aside Chinese takeout menu, just in case.

48 comments:

  1. I'm not sure we can be friends anymore, TKW, if you can whip up something this pretty and appetizing on such a bad day and with such a funny name in no time flat. Well, okay, but only because you're funny.

    Am I reading too much into this, or were you involved in too many backsides this week?

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  2. When my culinary light blings on, we usually end up having to order Chinese anyway. Wish I had your mad skills. (I don't wish for the puke, though. Hope that's gone soon. Blech.)

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  3. I agree with everyone else. Puke = boo. Your skillz = jealous!

    My new favorite wow-'em side dish is corn + black beans + taco sauce. Does that tell you something?

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  4. Please tell me the tomatoes weren't in the fridge, and that it just made the sentence easier to write it that way. Please tell me your citrus and your tomatoes stay out and *never* hit cold until they're cooked in something.
    Please?
    Now that I've stepped of the soapbox, I can say: frozen corn and black beans = my fallback plan for every meal. Add sauce and call it chili. Put them in broth and call it soup. Stick it in a quesadilla and call it...well, a quesadilla.
    I love your cheapskateyness for it rivals my own.

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  5. Ok that is awesome. I love that other people have random stuff in the cupboard and get caught out; well done!
    Hope illness has left the household and happy butt bone is all in tack-- I broke mine in child birth with child number two and mumma was not a happy camper for 10 months!

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  6. As a desperate house wife, did you by any chance shoot your neighbour as they crept about outside your house at night?

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  7. I think this puts you in the miracle worker category with my Mom, who could always come out of the kitchen with a delicious meal when I'd just been in there and swore there was nothing to eat.

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  8. It looks scrum - a wicked job done there! Quick thinking! xxx

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  9. This is proof positive that having a well-stocked pantry and freezer can really save your butt in times of need. Impressive!

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  10. Looks Wonderful, I love it when the refrigerator cleaning experiments work so well! Now I wish I had a bunch of junk at the back of my fridge too!

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  11. The salad looks tasty, but I'm far more curious about Vegas.

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  12. Wow!!
    I would've made spaghetti....
    (but yours looks sooo good!)

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  13. I would just like to point out that your last post was titled "I'm a virgin..." and this post was titled "You're screwed..." - so which is it? :)

    And also, I'm impressed. I must also never let my husband see your site. He thinks spaghetti is eating good.

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  14. ...sorry - it was titled "born again virgin..." - my mistake. :)

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  15. Wow, this sounds fantastic! (The meal, not the story about your crazy week so far). Very impressed!

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  16. Wow. Beautiful and tasty at the same time. You rock.

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  17. Brilliant! And it looks yummy too. Sometimes, our cheap tendencies come in handy - pushing the limits of creativity and invention!

    We always have corn tortillas, sour cream, and black beans on hand. When all other options are exhausted, Mexican it is.

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  18. Puke. Gross. That is one thing I really hate about being a mom, having to clean up all the pukey messes. Yuck.

    This salad rocks. And you rock for making it in no time!

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  19. That's why I love "overstocked" pantries. Because you can pull off stunts like this one. Most men don't understand it, but having a super-full pantry is key when everything around you goes wrong and you can't make it to the store!!!

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  20. Wow! This looks great. The fact that you could come up with this out of nothing is...amazing. You rock! Hope your little one feels better. What is it with barf lately? So many blogs, so much throw up these past few days!

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  21. You are SOOOO much more talented than me. I would have ordered pizza!

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  22. This is a dish that proves you are a Kitchen Witch! Magically stirring up something out of nothing. It looks delicious. I'm going to have to find the same magic tonight...or give in and get takeout.

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  23. You are keeping us distracted with yummy food from your Vegas bday shenanigans, aintcha? Looks lovely, but where's the *other* dish!?
    All that virgin talk doesn't fool us, missy. WHADDIDYADOOOOOOO? Spill *those* beans. :)
    jc

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  24. You are quite impressive when in a pinch in the kitchen! Wish I was that creative. I suck!

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  26. Delightful post! I call this commando cooking at my house. Sometimes great recipes are born from necessity and the fear of taking a crabby child to the store. You go mom.

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  27. You're so good. So so good. I hope Potty Pariah is feeling better.

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  28. Ick to sick Kiddo....Amazing to your ability to make a meal with next to nothing. I have a fridge full of ingredients and still am lost on what to make for dinner most nights.

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  29. Oh TKW. Well-wishes to the Potty Pariah and may the other kids not catch it! Let me bow down with everyone else before your cool-as-ice handling of the Situation.

    We are also in "what the hell can we eke out of the remains in the fridge/freezer" mode -- not for sick kid reasons, but for our own freakshow circus, as you would call it. I think frozen pot stickers are on the menu for this evening.

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  30. Looks fabulous! I bet the Potty Pariah appreciated the jalapeno pepper after what I assume was a Saltines and ginger ale diet. ;)

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  31. i'm sorry, this doesn't get the label "not bad." no, it definitely qualifies as "awesome" or "stellar" in my book--nicely done!

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  32. Why does your food ALWAYS look so fantastic? And make me salivate? (And at this stage, that's not adding to my sex appeal.)

    Come on. Spill. Is there a wizard behind some curtain making magic??

    Jeez. My Latvian would like to eat at your house... (Got a closet for him to stay in? Close to the fridge so he can raid the leftovers at night?)

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  33. You are amazing! This puts us all to shame. What a colorful delighful dish. I probably would of just had pasta with canned something (I don't have too much canned except beans and tomatoes, but mmm that doesn't sound bad) thrown in, and any cheese on top. A true insparation!!! But isn't that why were come here to your blog every chance we get? hehe!

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  34. My son LOVES fish tacos (which is what I thought you were going to put together) but this side dish? Perfect side for one of our favorite Friday night meals!

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  35. You rock...I love outsmarting my refrigerator (and children who make it impossible for me to get to the supermarket) and pull together a fabulous dinner like that! You go girl!

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  36. You made THIS with no groceries? Sheesh.
    When can you move in? I'll take the whole lot of you, leave no one behind.

    Hope the little one is feeling better and that no one else succumbs.

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  37. Unbelievable you are! After my kids have the pukes, I spend days THINKING I'm going to have the pukes so everyone is out of luck in the food department. It's cereal and bagels for every meal until we're in the clear. This looks delish. You've got most of my favorite ingredients in there... to me, add corn to anything and it's better.

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  38. Your posts make me laugh. And I am so jealous. My mouth is watering. I'm so hungry. I can't read your posts or go to the grocery store when I'm hungry.

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  39. You've got crazy good skills :)
    Mine include making scrambled eggs.

    I can totally picture you as the Bewitched gal, only you'd fly into all our homes when we needed a quick pantry save!

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  40. Yum! I love this recipe. I have two tilapia filets in the freezer. May feel this coming on.

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  41. You win the good mommy award! I would have ordered out, definitely. Good Hail Mary effort.

    This was punishment for Vegas, my dear. Didn't you figure that out?

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  42. Sorry your babe had the barfies......I swear this flu expands itself to all four corners....

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  43. I'm going to pretend you didn't make this with an empty fridge. You should see what my family has endured this week with a fridge FULL of food.

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  44. Retrohugs for all the crises! And, like the others here, I cannot believe you emerged with a lovely offering despite all that. You truly are a marvel, my friend.

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  45. Very impressive "found" meal!

    And so sorry for the barfing. Blerg.

    Hope things are righting themselves over at Chez T.

    ((((TKW))))

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  46. Hope your little lady is feeling better by now! This looks really good. I LOVE when you manage to pull together a reasonable dinner based off of whatever happens to be around. Nice work!

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  47. All right, a few little endnotes:

    Nap: I would NEVER keep tomatoes in the refrigerator! Sacrilege! But...I did this time because we were going away for a few days and I didn't want them to turn into a slime monster. Grape tomatoes do okay in the refrigerator...who knew?

    And dammit, jc and J. Harker, don't you know that what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas? At least be comforted by this: I didn't break it on this visit out. ;) First time we went (dating 3 months) I broke it. Or at least sprained it. Poor guy should have seen it in the cards...

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  48. One day, I want to grow up and be like you. I don't know how any one looks in their fridge and says "dinner." I have to have a menu.

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