I have big news, ladies and gentlemen...wait.
Maybe I should just keep my flippin' mouth shut. I'm afraid I'll curse myself. In fact, I know I'll curse myself.
But aww, what the Hell, I never can keep my ginormous pie-hole closed, so here goes. **Whispering so The Karma Gods can't hear** I think we're over the hump with potty training Miss M.
Yes, I'm skipping around like a lunatic. Training this child to use the toilet was a Sisyphean task, let me tell you. She's been "trained" successfully 3 times. And each time, there's been some event that de-railed her. Most recently, it was our entire month of May.
We returned from Disney with a child in Pull-Ups again. And it's taken us two full months to get her back on track, and I am so freaking excited because there are zero more babies in my future, so if #4 TTO (toilet-training-ordeal) is successful, I won't have to go through this Hell again.
Until my kids grow up and have babies, as you can see from the photo above. That's my father's mother, Helen, telling me stories as I sit on the throne. She gave me a penny for every pee; not a bad idea. So okay, maybe I'll have to help train another child, but I have a lot of free years coming.
This idea is so awesome that I do believe I deserve a drink.
**And yeah, this is a really shitty photo. I had some weird light thing going on in the house, and we don't have even a table in our backyard. Excuses, Excuses.**
from June 2009 Bon Appetit Magazine
serves 2 or 1 exhuasted veteran from Potty Training Wars
1/4 cup Ruby Red Grapefruit Vodka (Charbay or Smirinoff or Absolut or whatever)
1/4 cup vodka
1/4 cup fresh lime juice
2 tablespoons simple syrup**
Place first 4 ingredients in cocktail shaker; fill with ice. Cover and shake quickly and vigorously for 8 seconds. Strain into 2 Martini glasses. Garnish with lime slices.
**To prepare simple syrup: Stir 2 tablespoons sugar and 2 tablespoons water in small saucepan over low heat until sugar dissolves. Bring to a boil; cool.
Enjoy, but try not to gloat. Who knows what The Karma Gods have in store tomorrow.