Orange Potato Salad and Other Family Oddities

Hi awesome readers! It's been a year since I parked my snarky ass in this space, so I thought I'd dig through the archives and share a fledgling post with you. This one's from the very young days, when it was absolutely a 2-minute enterprise to check the comments section. But those of you who encouraged me early on...you meant the world.

It was an amusing trip down memory lane, trolling through the old posts. A lot of them are really freaking rough, but that's part of the beauty of just throwing your hat into the ring and saying, "Let's Go!" Right?

This post is one of my favorites, because it's so oddball that it's almost picaresque. Don Quixote chased windmills. We ate The Orange Potato Salad.

Enjoy. And again, thank you so much for being here.

*****

Admit it, you have some strange food skeletons clanking in your closet. Every family does. Maybe it's white trash food, or scrapple, or liverwurst on toast at midnight. But somewhere in your past, guarantee ya, you've got some embarrassing food lurking in the corner.

I do, too. And for some reason I'm not just embarrassed about the weird food I've eaten--I'm embarrassed about the weird food my family's eaten as well. There's some strange guilt-by-association thing going on there. If I see my dad eating slices of raw salted potato for a snack (which he does) shame just seeps outta me. Which makes zero sense--it's not my freakshow snack, it's my father's.

Food and family are so closely intertwined it's scary. Take Thanksgiving, for example. The food that ends up on your holiday table says a lot about you and yours. Illustration: cornbread stuffing. If you eat cornbread stuffing on a certain day in November, I'm betting there's Southern knocking around somewhere in your family tree. Creamed pearl onions? Yankee. Green jello mold with shredded carrots and pineapple in it? Hello, Midwest.

Now some of those family foods are stamps of pride; my Grandmother's fried chicken was legendary. It was so crisp, so perfectly Grandma-seasoned, so juicy...the day she died, fried chicken died too. I've never eaten it since, because she owned fried chicken. I can't look at a chicken without mourning her loss and knowing that never, not ever, will I eat fried chicken that perfect again. Ditto for Aunt Lee's Chocolate Cake. Maybe in your case it's your Nonna's Marinara or your mother's stuffed cabbage. Those are the family gems, the heirlooms you guard passionately because they are your history.

But just like that one cousin you had with the buck teeth and the donkey laugh and the ears that didn't match, some food appeared on your family's guest list that made you squirm. And darned if you aren't as ashamed of that as you are proud of Dad's bbq sauce. Because those oddities say something about your family too, and they're not always fun to examine.

I recall dying of embarrassment in 6th grade when a playmate and I walked into the kitchen just as my father was whipping up his favorite little afternoon refresher, a tall glass of saurkraut juice mixed with V-8. "YARGH," was all the horrified kid could sputter, eyes a-buggin. I wanted to vaporize into thin air.

In fact, my German father had plenty of little doozies in his arsenal. The strips of raw turnip, salted to death, which he snacked on during football games. The wedges of watermelon he salted, peppered, then ate. The hideous Braunschweiger roll he smeared on crackers. The bologna he sneaked from the package, rolled up and popped in his mouth. The peanut butter and pickle sandwiches. Embarrassments, all of them.

My mother's diet was pretty plebian in comparison, but she did make her famous potato salad, which she toted to every potluck and party of my youth. The Orange Potato Salad. I remember one 4th of July when a kid next to me in the buffet line said, "Who the Hell brought orange potato salad?" And I replied, "No idea."

Orange Potato Salad was one of my mother's "experiments." Experiments happened when my mother, missing an ingredient or two from a recipe (in the middle of a North Dakota winter), decided to improvise rather than drag two young children to the supermarket in 8-inch drifts of white misery.

In the case of the potato salad, my mother was out of vinegar and had a scant cup only of mayonnaise. Normally, she tossed the cooked potatoes with a drizzle of vinegar and let them cool before dressing. The hot potatoes absorbed the tang and salt of the vinegar and resulted in some spunky salad, let me tell you.

But she didn't have any vinegar, so she went shopping in the refrigerator and came up with Kraft French Dressing (yeah, the neon orange kind). She had about 3 tablespoons of it left in the bottle, so she tossed the hot potatoes with that, let them cool, and then tossed in some celery, onion, seasonings and that scant cup of mayonnaise. Orange Potato Salad was born.

Crazy thing is, as unsightly as that crayola-hued salad looks, people love it. It's different and un-boring (and admit it, most potato salad is boring). People started asking my mother to bring Orange Potato Salad to parties and she was happy to oblige. "Ah! You brought the Orange Potato Salad!" neighbors would announce, and she would beam.

I guess it could be worse--at least Orange Potato Salad was a crowd pleaser. Mrs. Mondry always brought oyster stew and nobody wanted that, so I shouldn't complain.

This Father's Day, I had my parents and the K family over for a barbecue. Mom called earlier in the week to ask what she could bring. "Orange Potato Salad," I said. Of course. Orange Potato Salad may be an embarrassment, but it's our embarrassment and what's a family without a few quirks?

Mom's Orange Potato Salad

serves 6-8

2 1/2 pounds red potatoes, unpeeled

3 tablespoons Kraft French Dressing

1 cup celery, diced

1/2 cup onion, diced

1 tablespoon sweet pickle relish

1 scant cup mayonnaise

1/2 teaspoon mustard seed

salt and pepper to taste

Boil potatoes about 15 minutes or until easily pierced with a knife. Drain potatoes and cool until warm enough to handle. Peel potatoes, chunk them and toss with French dressing while still warm. Cool.

Whisk mayonnaise, pickle relish, mustard seed, salt and pepper. Add celery and onion to potatoes, then toss with mayonnaise mixture. Make a few hours in advance to allow flavors to blend, and re-taste for salt/pepper before serving. If salad seems dry, add more mayonnaise.

Serve to non-judgemental people who love you.

*****

Confession time, I hope! What humiliating food lurks in your family history? Pleeeeease? It can't be any worse than the freaky sauerkraut concoction!

Anniversary Cookies

Barefoot Bloggers has two, yes, two cookie recipes this month! The Minxes think this is serendipity at its finest. I'm not the best baker, but cookies I can handle...I think. At this high altitude, even cookies can foil the Baking Gods.

This recipe is pretty straightforward; I did have to substitute chocolate chips for raisins, however. My children think raisins are the Devil's Instrument. Actually, so does hubs. What's so objectionable about little dried grapes, I do not know. Particularly if nestled into a buttery, cinnamon-kissed cookie?

Whatevs. If you are a raisin-hater, just use chocolate chips instead. Nobody will complain. Well, I might, because oatmeal raisin is my favorite cookie. I'm weird like that.

Raisin Pecan Oatmeal Cookies
from Ina Garten's Back to Basics
makes about 30 cookies

1 1/2 cups pecans
1/2 pound (2 sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 cup dark brown sugar, lightly packed
1 cup granulated sugar*
2 extra-large eggs, at room temperature
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon kosher salt
3 cups old-fashioned oatmeal
1 1/2 cups raisins

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

Place the pecans on a sheet pan and bake for 5 minutes, until crisp. Set aside to cool. Chop very coarsely.

In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, beat the butter, brown sugar, and granulated sugar together on medium-high speed until light and fluffy. With the mixer on low, add eggs, one at a time, and the vanilla.

Sift the flour, baking powder, cinnamon and salt together in a medium bowl. With the mixer on low, slowly add the dry ingredients to the butter mixture. Add the oats, raisins, and pecans and mix until just combined.

Using a small ice-cream scoop or a tablespoon, drop 2-inch mounds of dough onto sheet pans lined with parchment paper. Flatten slightly with a damp hand. Bake 12-15 minutes, until lightly browned. Transfer cookies to a baking rack and cool completely.

* I reduced the sugar to 2/3 cup because I was using chocolate chips in the recipe. I think they were just sweet enough without being cloying.

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I got no complaints with these. What's not to love?



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In other news, I realized that I've been running my mouth in this space, obnoxiously posting jell-o and popsicle recipes, for one year, as of today. It doesn't seem nearly that long, and yet somehow it feels like forever. Does that make any sense?

I'd like to thank each and every one of you readers for sharing a corner of your day with me. I have learned so much from you, and remain stunned by the generosity and congeniality you've shown me.

I still honestly feel like I don't know what the Hell I'm doing here, but you've all made me feel at home. As a girl who has never really fit in anywhere, it's been humbling and shattering to find a place with such open minds, arms and hearts. Thank you for your encouragement, your willingness to listen to me yammer on, your witty and kind comments.

I've met so many amazing minds, amazing writers, amazing people that I am proud to call my friends.

And to those of you who read but don't comment, thank you, as well. I don't really know you, but I'm so glad you check in. And if you ever decide to jump into the fray, I'd love it. I'd love to meet you.

And finally, thanks to my dear, patient friend Ink. You pushed me into this virtual world, assured me I could do it, and coped with months of my neuroses when this fledgling blog debuted. Thank you for believing in me when I could not. There but for you go I.

Hawaiian Vacation: Part II

Before I go any further, I feel a need to explain a little something. A little something known to this family as the curse.

The T Family has, somewhere along the line, pissed off The Vacation Gods. Royally. I don't know how we did it, but we did, and those Vacation Gods are vindictive little fucks. Because every vacation we take as a family? Plagued by sickness and/or some kind of mayhem. Cursed.

You think I'm kidding?

Exhibit A: the tropical vacation 2 years ago where Awesome Stepkid R arrived on our doorstep, the day before travel, with a miserable cold. Which was just a cold, no big deal...for him. However, Miss D. caught the cold, which turned into raging bronchitis. 4 days of that vacation were spent trapped in the hotel room, alternating nursing shifts with hubs, as she coughed up her lungs, burned with fever and wailed.

Exhibit B:The trip to Disney last year, where Miss D. projectile vomited all over herself, her brother, and the rental car with velour seats on a busy highway. And bad mom only had 2 more wipes left in her purse. Try cleaning that mess.

Exhibit C: The destination wedding in Mexico, where 2 hours after checking into the hotel, KitchyWitchy, in all her grace and glory, slipped on wet tiles by the side of the pool and came crashing down, with all of her weight, on her left wrist. My poor friend Shelley's wedding photos are laden with images of bruised, bandaged and braced up me, sulking.

Exhibit D: The worst of the bunch, by far. The $4,000 ski vacation from Hades. The build-up for this one was big; hubs had a medical conference at the Ritz-Carlton in Beaver Creek. A Ritz-Carlton! Awesome! We were beyond excited. On our way up to the ski resort, Miss D. barfed. And then the whole night. The next day, on a packed-to-the-gills apres-ski shuttle bus, Miss M. decided to give dozens of skiiers a lovely vomit shower. It was so vile that they evacuated everyone off the bus at the closest stop. She threw up every hour for 12 hours after that. Then, I spent a day and a half over a toilet. Je-sus. 3 out of 4 family members K.O.'ed. Plus, because it was a "working vacation", we couldn't just leave. We were stuck. At a freaking Ritz-Carlton. We paid $4,000 for a room to vomit in for 5 days.

See? Cursed.

So without further ado, I'll tell you about Hawaii, episode 2. I'll be brief.

Sitting in our hotel room, watching it pour rain (oh, did I neglect to share that little detail?)...my husband said, "Well, as bad as that was, at least it was asthma and not some disease."

I told him to shut the Hell up. He hadn't been vomited on twice, in public, in one day. Optimists suck.

The next morning, Miss D. awoke in fine fettle. Happily, we hit the beach and the pool and the clouds cleared by afternoon and I thought maybe, just maybe, this was going to be a good vacation.

That evening, The Licker began to cough. A few hours later, she was incendiary. Then she said, "Mommy, I think I ate too much candy," and gripped her gut. Alas, she hadn't eaten any candy.

You know what comes next.

Fortunately, the disease that The Licker contracted (by French-kissing her way around the airport, don'tcha think?) was short-lived. The cough remained but the stomach issues passed, so we were able to somewhat enjoy a good portion of our vacation. Well, except for the sleepless nights, when The Licker became The Hacker.

The T Family curse is, indeed, still with us. But the Vacation Gods showed us some modicum of mercy, because there was still time for this:









Oh, and about that flight home? You don't want to know.

Hawaiian Vacation: Then and Now: Part I

Then: Two days before vacation: bikini wax, pedicure, spray-on tan, epic 4 hour shopping trip in search of the perfect bikini to show off cute butt.

Now: Two days before vacation: realize you haven't contacted anyone to take care of Harryboy the cat and Twinkle the gay Russian dwarf hamster in your absence. Scramble madly. Cancel milk delivery, newspaper, mail. Dig out summer clothing for children; wash. Dig out summer clothing for husband; wash. Neglect to dig out and wash own clothing.

Then: Day before vacation: Throw the half-and-half for coffee down the drain. Try on all prospective cute outfits and shoe combinations; pack.

Now: Day before vacation: Clean copious detritus out of refrigerator. Contemplate whether your refrigerator qualifies as a biohazard. Pack each child's bag with laundered clothing, favorite lovey, coloring book/crayons, favorite snacks, dvd's. Pack personal carry-on bag with wipes, pull-ups, little girl undies, extra (2) pairs of little girl capris, 1 extra pair of big girl capris, 2 emergency activity books, tissues. Neglect to pack own paperback novel.

Then: Morning of departure: Double check contents of suitcase; zip.

Now: Morning of departure: Throw any unwashed warm-weather item of clothing you can find from the closet floor into own suitcase, add flip-flops, search crazily for the one swimsuit that hides your big butt.

Then: At ticket counter: Smile widely, make chit-chat with ticketing agent, mention shyly that you're getting married in Hawaii, score free upgrade.

Now: At ticket counter: Snarl at youngest child for licking the entire length of the ticket counter. Fumble for identification. Throw down all bags, search each for identification, bark at husband to keep an eye on The Licker. Present identification. Hear coughing and keening sound. Turn around. Watch as older daughter hacks viciously and vomits on your shoes. Apologize profusely to ticket agent, hiss at husband to "handle the ticket thing" and squish your wailing child to restroom. Clean off child's face and hands. Rinse off shoes. Apply hand sanitizer to all exposed skin.

Then: Pre-boarding: Buy water, gum, mints. Tally: 6 dollars.

Now: Pre-boarding: Buy 3 extra bottles of hand sanitizer, 2 extra containers of travel tissues, 2 extra containers of hand wipes, 3 rolls of cough drops, 1 box of Tylenol cough/cold, 2 bottles of 7-up and several boxes of graham crackers. Tally: 48 dollars.

Then: In-flight: Receive complimentary "good luck!" mini-bottles of champagne. Kiss fiancee. Enjoy novel and in-flight movie.

Now: In-flight: Shake head, stunned, when The Licker consumes all of the planned snacks for the (6-hour) flight in 45 minutes.
Ward off hostile stares/reproachful glares as older daughter continues to cough, non-stop, for duration of flight. Parcel out cough drops, Tylenol, tissues, 7-up. Worry that she's sounding asthmatic. Search carry-on bag for inhaler. Ask husband to search his bag for inhaler. Inhaler Fail.

Then: 4.5 hours into flight: summon flight attendant, order another bottle of mini-champagne. Kiss fiancee.

Now: 4.5 hours into flight: watch in horror as older daughter gags on another cough and spews monstrous amount of masticated 7-up, graham cracker, and in-flight pretzel pack all over her tray table and portable dvd player. Sit, immobilized, as vomit drips off of tray table onto daughter's lap, your lap, floor of airplane, carry-on luggage. Summon flight attendant. Begin to weep and hyperventilate. Perform the vomit-laced walk of shame with child towards the bathroom. Allow two extremely kind Hawaiian Airlines flight attendants to cordon off the back of the airplane. Strip child and self down to skivvies, hope nobody objects to your ass, attempt to clean up.

Then: 4.75 hours into flight: go to restroom, pee, freshen lipstick.

Now: 4.75 hours into flight: fill out medical release forms for Air-Medic so asthmatic child can receive emergency inhaler kept on board. Wonder how much this is going to cost you. Berate yourself for being a shit mother. Wince as they make the announcement over the intercom for all passengers with medical backgrounds to buzz the flight attendant due to a medical emergency on the plane. Wave weakly to own husband as he heads to the back of the plane.

Then: Arrival: Thank flight attendants profusely for the upgrade and the champagne. Call honeymoon limo for transport to hotel.

Now: Arrival: Wait until all passengers disembark. Slink, red-faced off the plane. Begin to thank flight attendants. Burst into tears. Shlep odiferous carry-on luggage, self, child and entourage outside. Attempt to calm down while husband arranges transport to hotel.

Then: Arrive at honeymoon suite, forget any signs of fatigue, fling open suitcase, don butt-revealing swimsuit, frolic in waves with fiancee.

Now: Arrive at condo/villa, prevent The Licker from jumping into the koi pond, immediately start washing machine for vomit elimination, shower...tell husband that you are never having sex again.

Jealous yet? And we haven't even covered most of it, non?

Neighbor Friday: Motherese

Aloha, readers! We are winding down here, planning on a safe landing Easter Sunday. Can I wax any more poetic about my guest today? Kristen brings it. Every post she writes on her blog is thoughtful and makes me stop in my tracks. Which is a pretty impressive feat, since I write recipes for popsicles and burgers and don't use my brain on a regular basis. Enjoy her. I know you will.

For more Friday fun, click on the icon below and check out other neighbors at The Never-True Tales!




Savoring the Sweet
by Kristen @ Motherese

I like to bake.

Baking appeals not only to my insatiable appetite for sweets, but also to my love of order, my passion for following directions. (Yes, it is possible to feel passion for following directions.) I like to cook, too, but not in the same way. To cook well, I think, takes improvisation. And, as you may have gleaned, I am not all that comfortable with improvisation. (But that, perhaps, is a topic for another post.)

Yesterday, Big Boy and I were baking chocolate chip cookies. (Baking with a toddler and the ample metaphors it affords is yet another topic for yet another post.) To me, the perfect chocolate chip cookie is the Holy Grail of the confectionery world.

The ideal cookie can’t be too chewy. It can’t be too crispy. The ratio of chocolate chip to cookie dough must be just right. The chip itself can’t be too sweet or too bitter. The center of the cookie must not be undercooked. (A common sin of the chocolate chip cookies available in many bakeries.) And the cookie must have just the right amount of salt.

Yes, salt.

That delectably sweet cookie needs to have the precise punch of salt.

Dorie Greenspan, author of my favorite recent baking cookbook, Baking: From My Home to Yours, helped teach me this lesson, one which I think applies to cookies and – wait for it – to life. In the New York Times article, “Perfection? Hint: It’s Warm and Has a Secret,” a number of noted bakers shared their theories on what makes the perfect chocolate chip cookie. My eyes instantly widened when I saw my beloved Dorie among those interviewed.

Although unsure she could bring anything new to the party, she went through the usual checklist: read through the recipe first, make sure all the ingredients are at room temperature, use the best-quality ingredients you can find, don’t overmix. Then she hit upon something everyone else had missed, and some home bakers are nervous about: salt.

“You can’t underestimate the importance of salt in sweet baked goods,” she said. Salt, in the dough and sprinkled on top, adds dimension that can lift even a plebeian cookie…Five years ago, sea salt as a must-have ingredient and garnish for sweets wouldn’t have registered on the radar of many home bakers, but now it has become almost commonplace, in part because of Ms. Greenspan’s unwavering belief in its virtue.

And that’s just it, isn’t it? Salty in the sweet. (You know, Sweet | Salty.)

Think about it: how often have you heard someone express a desire for something savory when they’re eating something sweet? For something sweet when they’re eating something salty? For a coffee break in the middle of an afternoon at work? For a rest stop on a long drive? For a languorous stretch in the middle of a long session at the computer? For a chance to stop and bake cookies with a two year old in the middle of a Saturday morning of writing?

And isn’t that a metaphor for life? A treacly tonic for our elusive quest for balance? A gastronomic reminder to stop and smell the flour?

Variety. It’s the spice of life. It’s the salt in the cookies. Bon appetit.

What little treats do you give yourself every day? What puts the salty in your sweet?

Crab and Avocado Duet

Once, a college girl was in love. Or lust. Or something, but she certainly knew that this boy, this boy who sat in front of her in Fiction 101, this boy with the black hair and the clear blue eyes? This boy was going to change her life.

That is, if he'd ever notice her.

She always sat behind him, but at an angle, so she could study his broad shoulders, his lush eyelashes, the tiny clench of the jaw when he concentrated. She peered out from beneath her behemoth 80's bangs, stealing glimpses, feeling fizzy and full and hollow all at the same time.

She wore her best Guess? jeans to lectures, did the required reading twice before class so so she'd sound intelligent if called upon. She nearly lip-glossed herself to death.

And then one day, one amazingly fine day, he noticed her. Not only did he notice her, he asked her to a party. A Fraternity party. The kind of party she never got asked to.

The Fraternity house smelled like sweat and Budweiser and stale marijuana, and what passed for a bathroom in that place was criminal.

But the boy didn't get too drunk and he made decent conversation and he said he liked her blue sweater. He didn't seem to notice the slight tremor of her hand as she held her beer cup or that she struggled for words.

He walked her back to her dorm at the end of the night, and just when she was sure he'd never kiss her, he leaned in slowly...

And nearly ate her tongue.

If the boy ever found himself unemployed, she thought, he could hire out that tongue as a Roto-Rooter. She almost choked on that enthusiastic, crack-the-whip monstrosity.

And BAM! The dream was over. So much promise...

That's kind of how I felt when I made this Crab and Avocado Duet from Ellie Krieger's cookbook So Easy.

The ingredients were good lookin'. The presentation was innovative. The finished dish, I was sure, was going to have that wow factor. But in the end? Disappointing.

It really didn't have much flavor, to be honest. And I used good crabmeat, Scout's Honor! I was flummoxed. What's not to like about crab and avocado?

In the end, I separated the crabmeat from the avocado, added some capers and a squeeze of mayonnaise, a dab more dijon, a few cracks of salt and pepper, and put the avocado, the "doctored-up" crab mixture and a few slices of tomato on a soft roll. Then I sweetened the deal with a few strips of crisp bacon. Crab club sandwich! A big improvement, I thought, and hubs had to agree. We happily munched Plan B. and decided that there's more to life than good lookin'.


Crab and Avocado Duet
from Ellie Krieger's So Easy
serves 4

1 ripe avocado
3 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
1/4 teaspoon salt, plus more to taste
1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
pinch of ground pepper
1/2 pound lump crabmeat
2 tablespoons chopped chives or parsley

whole grain baguette, to serve

Pit and peel the avocado and cut it into 1/2-inch chunks. In a small bowl, toss the avocado chunks gently with 1 tablespoon of the lemon juice and season with salt to taste.

In a medium bowl, whisk together the remaining 2 tablespoons of lemon juice, the Dijon mustard, pepper and 1/4 teaspoon salt. Add the crabmeat and toss.

For a decorative presentation, stand an empty 15-ounce can (with both the top and bottom removed) on a serving plate. Scoop a quarter of the avocado into the can, being careful to avoid any sharp edge on the rim. Place a quarter of the crabmeat on top and press down gently into the can. Gently pull the can off the avocado and crab mixture. Garnish with chopped chives or parsley.

Neighbor Friday: Nicki's Nook

Happy Friday, Readers! I'm so pleased to have Nicki guest posting today! Nicki is sort of a rock star; she's raised SIX kids, remained sane AND she just finished a 13-mile half-marathon. I don't think there's anything that can keep this lady down. She's here today to share some healthy recipes and a little message with you, so give her a warm welcome!

If you're so inclined, click on the icon below and travel to The Never-True Tales for more Friday fun!



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Guest Post – The Kitchen Witch

I was just doing my dishes as I was thinking about the CSA meeting I missed on Sunday. It is very hard to find a CSA share where I live but in Ithaca, it is much easier. Since I now drive to Ithaca at least once a week, I figured I would scope out a share there at the three hour “open house” this past Sunday. I would just make pick up arrangements for the day I am in town.

CSA, you ask? Never heard of it? Well, let me tell you that as much as I lust after having a huge garden each spring, I truly do not have a green thumb so my growing, between the fact that I practically live in the Arctic and we cannot generally plant until June 1 and my lack of ability, is limited. I have had some limited success growing in containers but not all things turned out good. But, back to CSA – Community Supported Agriculture.

Typically, March is a bit late for CSA but, like I said, outside planting in my area may hold off as late as June 1 so maybe not so late. What happens is a customer pays a farmer in advance of planting season for a share in the harvest. In some cases, the customer also has to put work hours into the farm but not in all cases. If you are interested in CSA in your area, please check out Local Harvest for locations near you.

Now, you may wonder why I care about local farms as most of the CSA shares around me are veggies, fruits and herbs. Few farms have animals for meat. But here is the thing. Those of you who read around – we encourage this – may have seen Gale’s month of March experiment to go vegetarian. In this she has referenced some of the information she is learning about big agriculture. Truly, the food we purchase at grocery stores, for the most part, is not local, family farm food. It is a result of agri-business and additives, in most cases. Some groceries try to carry local produce in season but not all.

So, I want to encourage you to take a week to start and eat local for that week. Barbara Kingsolver and her family not only ate local, they did so for an entire year. The journey is chronicled in the book Animal, Vegetable, Miracle. While I could not do what Kingsolver and her family did, I try my best to help the local farmer out when I can. To do my bit to help you support your local farmer or your local farmer’s market, I am willing to send a pdf file with 15 recipes I tried for the first time when I had my CSA. They include ingredients like cabbage, swiss chard, zucchini, jalapenos.

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Grilled Eggplant and Chickpea Salad

3 Japanese Eggplant, cut lengthwise
¼ cup canola oil
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
1 15.5 ounce can chickpeas, drained, rinsed and drained again
1 red pepper, grilled, peeled, seeded and thinly sliced
1 yellow pepper, grilled, peeled, seeded and thinly sliced
1 small red onion, halved and thinly sliced
15 Kalamata olives, pitted and coarsely chopped (I omitted as I don’t like these)
Juice of 1 lemon
¼ cup extra virgin olive oil
¼ teaspoon red chile flakes
2 tablespoons finely chopped fresh mint
2 tablespoons finely chopped cilantro
8 ounces feta, crumbled
1. Heat the grill to high
2. Brush the eggplant with the canola oil on both sides and season with salt and pepper. Gill for 3 to 4 minutes per side or until lightly golden brown and slightly charred. Remove from the grill and cut each half into half-inch think slices.
3. Place the eggplant, chickpeas, red and yellow peppers, onion and olives in a large bowl. Add the lemon juice, olive oil, chile flakes, mint and cilantro and stir to combine. Cover and let sit at room temperature for 30 minutes before serving or cover and refrigerate for at least 8 hours before serving. Can be served cold or at room temperature.


Grilled Tomato-Basil Relish

Yields 2 cups
8 ripe plum tomatoes – used regular tomatoes
5 tablespoons olive oil
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
1 small red onion, finely diced
2 cloves finely chopped fresh garlic
2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar
¼ cup finely chopped fresh basil
1. Heat your grill to high.
2. Place the tomatoes in a bowl and toss with 2 tablespoons of the oil and season with salt and pepper. Place tomatoes on the grill and trill until charred on all sides, and just cooked through, about 10 minutes. Remove from the grill and coarsely chop. Put the chopped tomatoes in a bowl, add the remaining 3 tablespoons of oil, onion, garlic, vinegar and basil and gently mix until combined. Let sit at room temperature for 30 minutes before serving. Can be made 4 hours in advance and refrigerated. Bring to room temperature before serving. Serve with grilled eggplant.


Swiss Chard Pesto

1 tablespoon butter or margarine
2 tablespoons olive oil
4 cloves garlic
Bunch of swiss chard
¼ cup of pine nuts
¼ cup parmesan cheese, grated
Fresh coriander leaves
1. Wash the chard thoroughly and shake to dry.
2. Melt the butter in a saucepan with the olive oil.
3. Chop the chard stems and add them to the pan. Stir and cook, covered, for five minutes.
4. Roughly chop or tear the chard leaves and add them to the pan. Cook for an additional three minutes.
5. Toast the pine nuts for two to three minutes – either under broiler or in dry pan.
6. Turn off the heat under the chard. Add the coriander leaves, pine nuts, and parmesan.
7. Puree the mixture.
8. Serve tossed with pasta. If too thick, thin out with some of the water the pasta is cooked in.
Swiss Chard
Snap off the stems of the swiss chard. Chop and sauté with garlic and butter until soft. Chop or tear leaves and add last two minutes. Finish with fresh nutmeg.


Curried Cabbage

1 large onion – finely chopped
6 tablespoons oil
1 large tomato, sliced
2 teaspoons ground cumin
½ teaspoon turmeric
2 carrots, sliced in rounds
1 medium head cabbage, finely sliced
1 green bell pepper, chopped
½ cup water
Salt and pepper
1. In a large shallow pan with a lid, sauté the onion in the oil over a moderate heat until it is lightly browned.
2. Add the tomato, salt, spices and continue to cook for two to three minutes, stirring frequently.
3. Add carrots and cook for five minutes.
4. Add the cabbage and bell pepper. Mix well.
5. Pour in water.
6. Cover pan and simmer until all the liquid is absorbed and the vegetables are cooked.


Italian Cabbage & Bean Soup

1 teaspoon olive oil
½ cup onion, chopped
½ cup celery, chopped
½ cup carrots, sliced
1 garlic clove, minced
1 ½ cups green cabbage, shredded
1 cup tomatoes, diced with liquid
1 cup white beans, cooked
2 packets onion soup mix, prepared
1 tablespoon parsley, chopped
Freshly ground black pepper
1. Place all ingredients in a large stockpot.
2. Bring everything to a boil and let boil for 30 minutes or until veggies are done.


Creamy Zucchini with Linguine

½ cup olive oil
2 large zucchini, diced
2 cloves garlic, thinly sliced
½ teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
1 (12 oz) package linguine pasta
1 cup whole milk
2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley
½ cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese
1. Warm olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add zucchini and garlic to hot oil, and season with salt and red
pepper flakes. Cook, turning occasionally, until zucchini are well browned on all sides , about 20 minutes.
2. Meanwhile, bring a large pot of generously salted water to boil. Add pasta and cook until al dente, about 8 to 10 minutes. Drain and set aside.
3. Stir milk into zucchini and simmer until it is reduced by about half, about 10 minutes. Add pasta to skillet and stir well. Sprinkle parsley and ¼ cup Parmesan over top and toss. Garnish with remaining Parmesan to serve.


Summer Squash Pizza Crust

4 cups finely shredded zucchini or yellow summer squash
¾ cup all-purpose flour
¾ cup grated Parmesan cheese
½ cup shredded mozzarella cheese
2 eggs, beaten
½ teaspoon ground black pepper
Salt to taste
1. Preheat oven to 350F (175C).
2. Once zucchini or summer squash has been shredded, lightly salt the squash and transfer it to a strainer. Let stand for 15 to 30 minutes and press all remaining liquid out of squash.
3. In a medium sized mixing bowl, combine squash, flour, Parmesan cheese, mozzarella cheese, eggs, pepper and salt. Mix well.
4. Spread the mixture into a greased and floured jelly roll pan. Bake for 25 minutes in the preheated oven.
5. Remove the crust from the oven and change the oven’s temperature to broil. Brush the top of the crust with oil and then broil the crust for 3 to 5 minutes until lightly browned.
6. Allow the crust to cool slightly and slide spatula underneath all the edges and under the middle. Place a large baking sheet over the top of the crust and flip the crust over so that the bottom of the crust is now facing upwards. Because it can be difficult to flip the crust smoothly, it may be necessary to cut the crust in half to facilitate the flipping of the crust. If you want to omit the flipping, that is fine but crust will not be as crunchy.
7. Brush the top of the crust with oil and broil for another 3 to 5 minutes until browned. Cover with toppings as desired.


Middle Eastern Cucumber and Tomato Salad

4 cups peeled cucumbers, cut to ½ inch chunks
4 cups ripe tomatoes, cut in ½ inch chunks
1 large red or green bell pepper, cut in ½ inch chunks
3 tablespoons fresh cilantro, chopped
3 tablespoons fresh mint, chopped
1 cup crumbled feta
2 scallions cut in ¼ inch slices
3 tablespoons lemon juice
3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
½ teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1. Chop the fresh vegetables as described above and place in a large salad bowl or glass bowl. Refrigerate until ready to serve so the salad will be nice and cold. If adding feta, herbs, and/or green onion, sprinkle them evenly over the salad.
2. Mix the oil and lemon juice, salt and pepper in a small bowl and set aside until ready to serve.
3. Pour the dressing over the vegetables and toss.


Sandwich Spread

Finely chop jalepeno peppers after deribbing and deseeding (if you want less heat, keep seeds and ribs if you want more heat). Mix in glass bowl with 4 ounces shredded extra sharp cheddar cheese. Add Miracle Whip or mayonnaise to create a spread. Use on tortillas or flat bread.


Balsamic Green Bean Salad

1 pound fresh green beans, trimmed
2 tablespoons chopped shallots
2 tablespoons chopped garlic
¼ cup balsamic vinegar
¼ cup olive oil
1. Place green beans in a large saucepan. Fill with enough water to cover green beans and bring to boil over high heat. Reduce heat to medium low and simmer 10 minutes. Drain, and let cool.
2. In a bowl, stir together shallots, garlic, balsamic vinegar and oil. Pour over green beans. Cover and refrigerate at least one hour. Serve cold.


Purple Apple Slaw

½ medium head red cabbage, finely shredded
¼ cup finely minced white onion
2 Gala apples, peeled, cored and finely diced
1 cup mayonnaise
½ teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon pepper
2 teaspoons sugar
2 tablespoons lemon juice
2 tablespoons milk
1. In a large serving bowl, toss together the cabbage, onion and apples.
2. In a small bowl, whisk together the mayonnaise, salt, pepper, sugar, lemon juice and milk. Pour dressing over the cabbage mixture and toss to coat.
3. Chill until serving.


Purple Cabbage and Walnut Salad

Note: Original recipe called for pecans but I didn’t have any so used walnuts.

1 head cabbage, shredded
1 cup Chinese pecans (sweetened pecans)
3 scallions, chopped including the green part
Dressing
½ cup vinegar (used white)
½ cup sugar
¼ cup oil (used canola)
¼ cup soy sauce
1. Mix the dressing separately.
2. You can make the dressing in advance.
3. Just shake well and pour over the cabbage, pecans and scallions.
4. Mix well to coat and serve immediately or nuts will soften.


Zucchini Yogurt Multigrain Muffins

1 ½ cup all-purpose flour
1 ½ cup whole wheat flour
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
2 ½ teaspoons ground cinnamon
¼ teaspoon ground nutmeg
3 eggs
½ cup vegetable oil
½ cup unsweetened applesauce
1 cup plain yogurt
1 cup white sugar
¾ cup honey
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 cup shredded zucchini
1 cup shredded carrots
½ cup chopped pecans (optional)
½ cup raisins (optional)
1. Preheat the oven to 400F (200C). Lightly grease 24 muffin cups.
2. In a bowl, sift together the flours, salt, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon, and nutmeg.
3. In a separate bowl, beat together eggs, vegetable oil, applesauce, yogurt, sugar, honey and vanilla.
4. Mix the flour mixture into the egg mixture.
5. Fold in zucchini, carrots, pecans, and raisins.
6. Scoop into the prepared muffin cups.
7. Bake 18 to 20 minutes in the preheated oven, until a toothpick inserted in the center of a muffin comes out clean. Cool 10 minutes before transferring to wire racks to cool completely.


Zucchini Brownies

½ cup vegetable oil
1 ½ cups white sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 cups all-purpose flour
½ cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 ½ teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
2 cups shredded zucchini
½ cup chopped walnuts

Icing:

6 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
¼ cup margarine
2 cups confectioners’ sugar
¼ cup milk
½ teaspoon vanilla extract
1. Preheat oven to 350F (175C). Grease and flour a 9x13 inch baking pan.
2. In a large bowl, mix together the oil, sugar and 2 teaspoons vanilla until well blended.
3. Combine the flour, ½ cup cocoa, baking soda and salt.
4. Stir flour mixture into sugar mixture.
5. Fold in zucchini and walnuts.
6. Spread evenly into prepared pan.
7. Bake for 25 to 30 minutes in the preheated oven, until brownies spring back when gently touched.
8. To make frosting/icing, melt together the 6 tablespoons of cocoa and margarine; set aside to cool.
9. In a medium bowl, blend together the confectioners’ sugar, milk and ½ teaspoon vanilla. Stir in cocoa mixture. Spread over cooled brownies before cutting into squares.

Better Burger with Green Olives

There are some people out there who would argue that you shouldn't mess with a good burger. My Daddy-O is certainly of that school of Burger Philosophy.

But me? I kinda like to mess around, shake things up, tinker.

I saw this recipe for Better Burger with Green Olives in Ellie Krieger's cookbook, So Easy and was intrigued.

Green olives? In a burger? With cumin, a spice I usually only use when cooking Mexican or Indian food? Huh.

Well, really, why not?

I went to the store for green olives and discovered something even better. Green olives stuffed with jalapenos! We like our food racy at Chez T., so I threw those bad boys in the cart.

I formed the meat mixture into patties and learned one little tip: Although most cooks advise against packing the meat firmly into patties, if you make this recipe, you should pat them together fairly well. Otherwise, they can fall apart. Which is a burger bummer.

Better Burger with Green Olives
from Ellie Krieger's So Easy
serves 4


1 pound lean ground beef (at least 90% lean)--I used 92% lean
1/2 cup coarsely chopped pitted green olives*
2 tablespoons fresh Italian parsley
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
Cooking spray
4 whole-wheat hamburger buns (I used English muffins, toasted)
4 slices beefsteak tomato
4 green lettuce leaves
1/4 red onion, sliced
ketchup, to taste

Combine the beef, olive, parsley, cumin and pepper in a mixing bowl and mix until well incorporated. Shape into 4 burgers.

Spray a non-stick grill pan with cooking spray and preheat over medium-high heat. Cook the burgers for 4 minutes per side for medium, turning once. Serve with condiments.

* I didn't coarsely chop mine--I whizzed them in the food processor. Thus, my husband, who doesn't much like green olives, didn't know they were in there. ~evil cackle~

Verdict: YUM! Honestly, you couldn't really taste the olives. Whether that was due to the jalapeno kick, I'm not sure. The cumin added a wonderful, toasty, smoky flavor. Cumin is awesome in burgers--who knew? Hubs and Awesome Stepkid and I all gave these burgers a thumbs-up.

The best thing? A Better Burger weighs in at about 300 calories. Which would you rather eat? A mouthwatering, fresh burger or an insipid Lean Cuisine (which I am always mad at myself for buying/eating)?

I'll need a few Better Burgers in the next few days, because the family leaves for Hawaii on Friday, for a Spring Break that's sure to be packed with hi-jinks and hilarity. Taking a nod from my friend Kristen , I'm going to try to un-plug for a lot of the trip and focus on my wolf pack.

But please pop in on Friday, when I'm hosting Nicki for Neighbor Friday!



Nicki will take great care of you guys while busy I'm trying to pacify Minxes on a Plane.



If I don't come around much to comment on my favorite blogs or check in here, forgive me. Balance isn't something I do well; I'm trying to err on the side of family this next week! I love you guys!

Meatless Monday: Indian Dhal

So many readers confessed their love for naan in this post, I thought I'd share a recipe that used naan as a delivery vehicle. Gives you a good excuse to eat a buttload of naan, eh?

Dhal (lentil curry) is a South Indian staple; many South Indians are vegetarians, and dhal is a primary source of protein--it's not uncommon to see dhal on the table at every meal.

Traditional dhals are often soupy, and served with rice. My husband doesn't like his dhal like that, and frankly, neither do I.

So welcome to TKW's Bastardized Dhal. This dhal is thicker, and served with my beloved naan, for scooping. This recipe is spicy, so if you have delicate tongues, I suggest you halve the amount of chiles involved. Either way, I'd recommend serving the dhal with a cooling raita.

I love raita--the refreshing blend of cucumbers and yogurt provide the perfect counterpoint to Indian spices. And for the record, it's delicious with naan, too. I think I'm the poster child for Eat More Naan!

Both recipes are adapted (eg: Bastardized) from the cookbook Curried Favors by Maya Kaimal MacMillan. I highly recommend this cookbook; it's by far my favorite of the Indian ones I own (you can get it on Amazon.com). A lot of Indian cookbooks are very fussy and require you to toast your own spices and grind them yourself. This one does not, and while there are some time-consuming recipes, there are a lot of recipes so simple that dinner's on the table in about 30 minutes.

Spicy Dhal with Tomatoes
adapted from Curried Favors by Maya Kaimal MacMillan
serves 6-8

1 cup masoor dhal (dried red lentils...you can get these at Whole Foods) or yellow thool dal, rinsed
2 cups water
1/4 teaspoon ground turmeric

1/4 teaspoon cumin seeds
1/4 teaspoon mustard seeds
1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 cup finely chopped onion
1 teaspoon minced garlic
2-3 green chiles (serrano, Thai or jalapeno), split lengthwise

1 cup chopped tomatoes, fresh or canned, drained

1 teaspoon salt

2 tablespoons fresh cilantro, chopped

In a medium saucepan, bring dhal, water and turmeric to a boil; turn down heat, cover and let simmer for 20-30 minutes (you will need only 20 minutes if you use red lentils, more if you use yellow). Watch for spilling. (Remove cover to let bubbles subside if spilling occurs).

While dhal cooks, heat oil, cumin seeds, mustard seeds and crushed red pepper in a covered, heavy 3-quart saucepan over medium-high heat. When mustard seeds start to pop, turn the heat down to medium and add onion, garlic and green chiles and cook for 5 minutes until onion is soft.

Add the tomatoes and cook, stirring, until slightly softened, about 3-5 minutes.

When dhal is cooked and tender, mash with a potato masher or the back of a spoon to break up roughly (if you use red lentils, you probably won't have to do this. Red lentils fall apart quite easily). Add tomato and spice mixture (you can throw the green chiles out at this point or choose to leave them in, whichever you prefer). Stir in salt and bring to a boil. Simmer for 2 minutes, adding more water for a thinner consistency, if desired.

Adjust seasonings, garnish with cilantro.


Raita
adapted from Curried Favors by Maya Kaimal Macmillan
serves 8

2 medium hothouse (English) cucumbers, seeded and coarsely grated or finely chopped (you can peel the cucumber if it suits you)
1 cup white onion, grated or very finely chopped
2 cups plain greek 2% milk yogurt, such as Fage
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
dash of cayenne pepper
dash of black pepper
1 teaspoon salt

In a medium bowl, combine all ingredients. Set aside for 20 minutes before serving so flavors can blend and mixture thins out a little. Taste for salt and adjust if necessary.

Chicken Parmesan Burgers

Oh, Chicken Parmigiana, how do I love thee? I love your crisp, seasoned crust. I love your tangy, herb-studded marinara sauce. I love your ooey, gooey, decadent blanket of cheese. I love the saucy noodles that usually ride shotgun on the plate with you.

I love you. Except for one leeeeetle problem.

You are a Calorie Bomb from Hell. Yeah, I know you think you're all sneaky, because you are chicken--boneless, skinless, chicken at that--which everyone knows is healthy, right?

You little charlatan. You.....Lothario! You seduce us with promises of lean, nutritious protein, add the enticement of a vegetable-studded sauce and then? Ka-blammo! You knock us onto our rapidly-expanding ass.



The proof is in the pudding*. The Chicken Parmigiana entree at the Olive Garden restaurant contains just how many calories, do you think? Huh? I mean, it's only chicken, right? Wrong. The magic number is: 1,090.

'Tis true. You can look it up yourself. And that number doesn't even include the salad and those Crack Breadsticks they serve. 1,090 calories for one meal is seven kinds of wrong, people!

I think I might have a single glass of wine or a Go-gurt left over in the calorie bank after eating Olive Garden Chicken Parm (no salad, no breadsticks. If I eat those, I've hit my calorie allotment for the whole freaking day).

But this sucks! I love you, Chicken Parm! What's a girl--a girl with a firm eye on the size of her backside--to do?

In my case, a girl finds a really kick-butt recipe in Bon Appetit for Chicken Parmesan Burgers. A recipe which, when followed as directed, clocks in at 554 calories. Not bad! If you are on Le Regime, or even a half-assed Regime, you can do like I did and skip the top layer of bread (or skip bread altogether and add a side salad) and make it a knife-and-fork affair.

Any way you dish it up, it will deliver that crave-worthy Chicken Parm taste without the walk of shame in the morning.

Chicken Parmesan Burgers
from Bon Appetit
serves 4

10 1/2-inch-thick slices French bread (4 inches in diameter); 8 slices toasted, 2 slices (crust removed) diced
1/2 cup finely grated Parmesan cheese**
4 tablespoons minced fresh basil, divided, plus 12 large basil leaves
3/4 cup purchased refrigerated marinara sauce
12 ounces ground chicken (white meat)
2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil, divided
1 tablespoon grated onion
1/4 teaspoon salt
4 ounces whole-milk mozzarella cheese, thinly sliced
4 large radicchio leaves

Blend diced bread and Parmesan in processor to fine crumbs. Transfer to pie dish; mix in 2 tablespoons minced basil.

Mix marinara and 2 tablespoons basil in a small saucepan. Transfer 1 1/2 tablespoons sauce to large bowl. Add chicken, 1/2 tablespoon oil, onion and 1/4 teaspoon salt. Sprinkle with pepper; blend. Shape into four 1/2-inch thick patties; coat with crumbs. Heat sauce over low heat.

Heat 1 1/2 tablespoons oil in large nonstick skillet over medium heat. Cook patties until bottoms are crusty, 4 minutes. Turn patties over, top with cheese. Cook 3 minutes.

Cover; cook until cooked through and cheese is melted, about 1 minute.

Assemble burgers with bread, radicchio, basil leaves and warm marinara.

* Proof is in the pudding? Where did that wacky phrase come from, I wonder? That makes no stinking sense.

** Since there are so few ingredients in this recipe, I'm going to urge you to buy the GOOD stuff. Parmigianno-Reggiano from Italy, in the block form. No pre-shredded cheese! The already shredded kind loses it's flavor in like, a day. Okay, enough harassin' ya.