Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Five for Ten: Yes

Although I love Jen and Sarah, I had to balk at this last prompt for Five for Ten Again.. Yes? Are you kidding me?

Don't they understand that I am a firm adherent to the Philosophy of No? No is the only thing that allows me to get anything done during the day. No is the reason my kids aren't running around, naked as jaybirds, in the snow, eating fistfuls of Chee-tos at 8:30 in the morning. No (with the addition of a well timed Stink-Eye) is the only thing that keeps my kids from eviscerating each other with their bare hands. No is awesome!

With No in my life, who needs Yes? Don't I give enough to these people already?

But Momalom wanted yes, so I'm bringing it. I'll get you for this, Jen and Sarah!

Before you go any further, I'd like you to visit ck over at Bad Mommy Moments. Her post today about Saying Yes is better than anything I could write. CK is always parenting so mindfully--she knocks my socks off. So really, go see her and read her words. You won't be sorry.

Now that I've given a resounding yes to my brilliant friend, I suppose I should get on with it, eh?

***Yes

~ A Memo to My Children:

Yes, I know it is cruel of me to require you to eat a fruit or a vegetable before consuming any other kind of snack. Tell it to Oprah someday. Now scarf that orange and shut up.

Yes, you do have to go to school. School is the only thing that saves mommy from locking herself in the bathroom with a fifth of grain alcohol.

Yes, you really are in trouble for doing this to the fireplace.



Just like when you were in trouble for doing this:





Yes, I really do expect you to pick up your toys. Because this morning, Mommy nearly amputated her foot on a Bakugan.

Yes, you do need to change your clothes. Because the ensemble you chose for yourself isn't going to cut it. It's 43 degrees outside.



Yes, I am confiscating the pretty lip gloss that grandma brought you.



Yes, I am throwing this creepazoid doll away. I don't care how much you like it; the thing gives me the skeebs.



Yes, I bought you some nice clothes for Barbie. Why am I always finding her like this?





Yes, you need to step away from Mommy's cocktail.



And yes, I am miffed that you think Daddy is more fun than I am. Look how often I tell you yes, for God's sake?

~ A Memo to my Husband:

Yes, you need to be a little more aware of where you leave things around the house.



And yes, since I've had a heck of a day, we are eating chips and dip for dinner.




Lightened Spinach and Artichoke Dip
from Cooking Light Magazine
yields 5 1/2 cups


2 cups shredded part-skim mozzarella cheese, divided
1/2 cup fat-free sour cream
1/4 cup grated fresh Parmesan cheese, divided
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
3 garlic cloves, crushed
1 (14-ounce) can artichoke hearts, drained and chopped
1 (8 oz) block 1/3-less-fat cream cheese, softened
1 (8 oz) block fat-free cream cheese, softened
1/2 (10-ounce) package frozen chopped spinach, thawed, drained and squeezed dry*
1-2 jalapeno peppers, seeded and chopped (optional)

Preheat oven to 350.

Combine 1 1/2 cups mozzarella, sour cream, 2 tablespoons Parmesan and next 6 ingredients (through spinach) in a large bowl and stir until well-blended. If using, stir in jalapenos.

Spoon mixture into a 1 1/2-quart baking dish. Sprinkle with 1/2 cup mozzarella and 2 tablespoons Parmesan.

Bake at 350 for 30 minutes or until bubbly and golden brown. Serve with tortilla or pita chips.

* I went ahead and used the whole box of spinach. Once you squeeze it dry, there really isn't that much of it left!


*********
Alert! Alert! If you haven't already, please visit Aidan over at Ivy League Insecurities today in support of her book, Life After Yes, which hits the bookstore shelves today!

63 comments:

  1. Oh, Kitch! You make me laugh so hard! This is fabulous, right down to the illustrated proof of a life of "yes" the way most of us lead it.

    (I especially love the artful juxtaposition of KY Jelly and the pacifier. Um... a metaphor??)

    Loved it! YES to these yeses, and to the frequent NO that is the only way to arrive at an ultimate yes... or at least, a maybe.

    CHIPS AND DIP, too! Woo Hoo!

    I heart you, TKW.
    BLW

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  2. A double yes to you my dear!

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  3. I'm still a sucker for Yes at home, where it is going to come back and bite me in the ass. Any day now.
    In a room full of teenagers, though, I've got plenty of No in me. So there's hope.

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  4. Yes this is AWESOME. Yes I will be making that dip! YUMSTERS!

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  5. This post is filled with win. I hope to be half as funny a mom as you are (well, whenever that happens).

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  6. Who doesn't keep KY with the pacifier?

    Your art work is eerily familiar : http://andyjessaddison.blogspot.com/2009/05/fable-of-why-daddy-shouldnt-be-left.html.

    Yes to cocktails.

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  7. Now this is an effective 'yes' list! Lol, love the photo illustrations.

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  8. Ooh, a very good "yes" list. I just KNEW I could use "yes" to my advantage if I kept practicing...

    Thanks for the laugh this morning.

    And the recipe totally made me hungry for chips and dip. At 9 in the morning. Awesome.

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  9. You are too funny! And a recipe to boot! Yes, what more could we ask for? Yes I'm trying that dip!

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  10. I am laughing so hard right now, TKW.
    Thank you. I'm that kind of yes-mom too!
    xo

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  11. HA! Hysterical! I can relate on so many levels, and let me just say it was a GREAT day when my kindergartener decided he was done with Bakugan! Now if I could just get back the money we spent on those things, I'd have a nice new pair of Mephistos (yes, I know, but I have a bad foot and need them!). .

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  12. Too many OMG LAMO moments to recount, will probably end up with me quoting the entire post. So I will just say AWESOME and shut up.

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  13. Hilariously classic:
    "yes....now shut up"
    and
    "Daddy's not more fun because I'm the one who says yes so often."
    You're a silly and delightful creature. Sorry about your occasional pacifier dryness...

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  14. Great post. See, you really do say yes...they just don't appreciate it!

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  15. You are my giggle on a dreary day! Thank you! And YES! Bakugan and legos are the bane of my existence, too! And I, too, was a little thrown when I say a pic of KY and a pacifier together in the same pic...I'm just not allowing my mind to go there!

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  16. I am laughing my ass off. Love the ky jelly next to the binky. I really love your writing.

    Do you know how talented you are. I mean seriously?

    Laughing still

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  17. You are killing me, girl! Stand firm on that "No!" It's not working anyway, but it's the only thing between you and the house collapsing around your ears!

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  18. Yes, your post took me back a few years! Yes, we've had not chips and dip but popcorn for dinner quite a few times. Yes, lip gloss is bad--even for little boys. And, lastly, yes--I'm on my way to "Mitford". Come away with me. You need the diversion!

    Best,
    Bonnie

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  19. My daughter has found great pleasure in drawing on the walls as of late. I don't exactly appreciate it. But, at least I said yes to the crayon!!

    (I think I deserve chocolate just because of that.)

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  20. Hilarious. Absolutely, pitch-perfectly hilarious.

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  21. I love this.

    I also had to take away lip gloss. :/

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  22. Just brilliant! I totally agree, that doll is creepy, and I agree with Kristen this post is absolutely hilarious. Having spent the morning in our yard with my three year old where I was saying no every five seconds to some proposal or other (or so it seemed) I found myself saying to her at one point "I do wish I didn't have to say no to you all the time." So I totally sympathize!

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  23. This is great! The photos are hilarious. I need stink-eye lessons. I'm horrible at it. I must look a lot more like I'm going to either laugh or cave in because at 20 months, my daughter is showing absolutely no respect to the 'eye.

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  24. That doll is going to give me nightmares!

    Also, I give a pretty amazing stink eye.

    Also? Only you could work that delicious recipe in so artfully. I need a taste!

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  25. Another laugh out loud post! I loved every word. (Good thing the KY Jelly didn't end up next to the toothbrush.)

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  26. I LOVE THIS!!! You say yes like I do!

    By the way, very artful use of chips and dip in your post... Pure genius!

    Thank you for this...after having my insides poked and prodded today at various doctor's, I needed this!

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  27. YES! I can really use the whole box??!!

    The doll isn't exactly a creepazoid. I'm sure it's pure coincidence that she has Eddie Munster's forehead.

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  28. Now THAT sounds like exactly the kind of dinner I could use for the next week. Spinach is on the restricted foods list, so I'll have to come up with a substitute. But otherwise, pass me an oven mitt ...

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  29. OMG, you're hysterical! This is brilliant, and I LOVE love LOVe that you had photo illustrations to go go with it!!

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  30. The magic wand to go with the outfit is killing me!

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  31. I haven't laughed this hard all day! I can't even pick my favorite... except maybe the creepy doll or naked barbie! Hahahahaha!

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  32. Very Funny! you made me laugh out loud!

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  33. I would totes wear that outfit. and I have my own wand and a tiara that would go great. srsly. still practicing on making someone a frog. or disappear. same thing really.
    jc

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  34. Hilarious—you are just too funny. Yes, I love it!

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  35. I totally needed this laugh today. Totally. Thanks Kitch!! And chips and dip, with a real recipe, you may have just won the chips and dip contest, ABSOLUTELY brilliant!

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  36. Love this! The KY cracked me up!

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  37. This is an AWESOME list with KILLER photos. I think the Barbie picture is my favorite. You rock, Kitch.

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  38. I agree with your Yes to No...

    Sometimes we moms are the last line of defense.

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  39. Perfect. I am laughing soooo hard. And the accompanying photos are wonderful. How many times did I say yes in that no way? Let me count.....

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  40. Finally! A "yes" post I can stand behind!! :)

    Also, might I suggest shitmykidsruined.com for some of those photos? The site is a freakin riot.

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  41. You are hilarious.

    Were you saying yes to blogging when the fireplace and cabinet incident occurred? I'm anticipating the same thing as I sit here and my son piles pillows so he can climb our TV cabinet.

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  42. We have TOTALLY had that KY moment -- I just forgot to take a picture.

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  43. Oh, this post has me laughing! Your yes is much easier to do than ck's! (Sorry ck, but you know that...)

    And that KY pic...HILARIOUS.

    (And YES, I just accepted your plastic joy award, and I must say, that was a fun one to write! Thanks, I needed that!)

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  44. Yes! I will have chips and dip for dinner tonight too!!!

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  45. I just knew it, you totally have Yes in you! It's just a matter of perspective.

    And THAT dip...that's one thing I think I really can get my kids to eat. Yum-o!

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  46. Brilliant! Laughed and laughed.

    So glad I met you through Five for Ten. I am a fan. For Sure.

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  47. Ahh, I love these photos!! Naked Barbie and creepy doll made me laugh the most. What a great life you lead!

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  48. The doll and naked Barbie just about killed me.:) ROFLMAO

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  49. Loved everything about this post - especially the KY jelly next to the binky! :D

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  50. And yes to Magic Erasers for undoing kiddo "art" on furniture, walls, fabric, floors ...

    And double yes to chips and dip. Do you airmail?? =>

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  51. See, we can spin anything our way when we need to. What great politicians we would make!

    That doll is super creepy mcgee

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  52. Cracking up. OK - so we have similar "drawings" on our walls and leather chairs - though not engraved - more crayon and peanut buttery. All Barbies are naked (I found that my two year old had stuffed all the clothes in a baby wipe container) - and, yeah - that doll is creepy. I would get rid of it before it starts lurking around your house or something. And... as usual... going to try that recipe you posted....

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  53. Yes, I want to be the Kitchen Witch when I grow up.

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  54. Thanks for making me smile (again) this morning. I think I'm vicariously re-living the years my daughters were small through those of you with young children now. While in the trenches, it's hard to see the forest for the trees, and we didn't have an outlet like blogs to share our frustrations (just neighbors). But when you all share pieces of your lives, I find myself nodding and smiling in retrospect. For when you finally watch them cross the stage and receive their diplomas, you know it was all so worth it.

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  55. God, it's been TOO long since I've been around ... (And YES!!! I'll head on over to CK's blog post-haste!)

    Being an elder mommy, The Overlord Protectors now tell me, "Yes, Mom. We WILL pull you out of the closet as a party favor once the Alzheimer's sets in." That shut me up about their just putting me in a state home and forgetting about me! (Which really IS my druthers ... They just wanna hear the really juicy stuff -- finally! *laughing*)

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  56. Okay, okay, so you'll get us back! But don't you know you ALREADY challenge me every single day. To write better, to laugh harder, to think about life with all its ups and downs and bring it to the page in that sensitive, bittersweet way that only YOU really can. YES TO YOU. And Yes to CHIPS AND DIP...and that recipe. Because you KNOW I dropped the freaking ball on THAT ONE. (Shit, what else is new with me? GAH!)

    I adore you. So YES to YOU.

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  57. First off, you must get rid of that doll. I may have nightmares about it tonight...

    Second, I love how you were able to get a recipe (and an awesome spinach dip one at that!) in a post about yes! You are awesome.

    Third, I am happy to know that my children are not the only ones out to destroy the house. Call me crazy, but it makes me feel better.

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  58. Yes, you are a hoot, you do love and care for your children and you post beautiful recipes. Yes, I love reading your blog.

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  59. Awesome post! I'm just sad it took me this long to write. I miss my naptime freetime. Any ways, chips and dip for dinner is almost as good as my mom serving us cake for breakfast.

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  60. this is so funny, and dang, that dip looks delish!

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